As I laid my head on the passenger headrest as Kevin drove us home from a late movie tonight and while I continued to deal with a raging headache my heart was softened by some great music that really spoke to my soul...as cheesy as it sounds. I absolutely looove music. All types of music touch me deeply and I so value and appreciate great music. Anyhow, so as I was laying back and praying my headache would soon subside on its own as I refuse to take any medications unless I'm on my death bed while pregnant, I had a moment.
In this moment God revealed something to me. I am so so incredibly moved by being pregnant. So incredibly thankful, mesmerized, honored...all the words I have stored in my brain are inadequate to describe how I feel about being pregnant. This is a feeling I have spoken about me feeling before. But tonight, God revealed something to me about those feelings. I view the beauty of pregnancy as God does, how it was meant to be viewed: with complete and utter awe and overwhelming happiness. Our sin nature often muddle and crowd out God's goodness.
It was in this moment I realized that how I feel about being pregnant is not how all women feel about being pregnant. Some go through their entire pregnancy's plagued by fear, worry, disdain, regret, or while having broken hearts. Do you think this is how God imagines a woman or a husband and wife team preparing for their gift from above? I don't think so.
As I put two and two together I became even more grateful. Grateful that I have gone through everything I have gone through to get to this point in my journey because it has allowed me to see pregnancy and motherhood through the eye's of our Savior. It is pure and filled with love and appreciation. It's a gift, a blessing, not something we're owed or have any right to in life.
I began to realize I don't hold bitterness towards those who take becoming pregnant or becoming a mom for granted, instead I feel sad for them. I feel sad for them because they are missing out on experiencing an entire dimension of pregnancy! It's an incredible, amazing, spectacular and every other feel-good word you can think of kind of experience. This is how God's gift, our baby, are meant to be honored. Experiencing life within God's design always supersedes anything we can ever dream up! He's AMAZING!!
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