Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Growing
So I think I'm getting bigger. Well, I think. Well, I don't really know what's happening to tell you the truth, but something's going on. The scale doesn't indicate that I've gained more than a pound in the first 14 weeks, but my pants are totally too tight and my belly is an odd shape and I don't like it at all! It looks so big...maybe I'm just bloated.. LOL. But it's defintely not a baby bump. The baby bump is very distinct, much lower on the abdomen, and very small. So not sure what's going on. But I feel huge and much thicker in the middle, but not pregnant cute, but just getting fatter. uhg! Not lovin' it.
Baby Classes
I know it is way early, but my doc told me that birthing classes and such fill up quickly, so we needed to look into signing up for them now so in three or four months we would have spots reserved in the class. So we went with one of the most recognized places in town, it's called the Nesting Place, for our classes. So in January we will be attending a birthing class, a baby basics class, and a breast feeding class. Can't wait! I hope it's the amazing bonding time with Kevin that I envision it will be. :) Sorry for all the cheese!
Nesting?
We live in a very small house, so in an effort to declutter and make things look less cramped, we have decided to do a massive purge of the house and clear out our overstuffed living room furniture and revamp our living room setup. This means that our entire living room set was placed on Craigslist last week and by Sunday we were sitting on lawn chairs while watching TV. Whoo hoo!
This also meant that we needed to quickly find new furniture at a price that we could manage. We didn't realize how quickly our old furniture would sell. But it was only 2 years old and was in excellent condition and we sold it all at great prices, so of course it sold quickly! Mission accomplished.
The hunt began for a new living room set up at the end of last week. We knew for sure we wanted a living room style, not nursery style, glider. Something very "living room-y" looking and very nice. My parents have one and it's gorgeous and it's always the favorite place to sit. AND with a bambino on the way, who want's to be banished to rocking the baby in only the nursery? Not me. Finding one of these was a semi-difficult task. In the end, we found a company that makes them but we had to order it from a local retailer from a catalog on a special order. So it won't be here for about 4-6 weeks. There were no local retailers that carry this type of chair. Bummer!
We then went on a mad hunt for the rest of the furniture. We hit soo many stores, I was worn out! We went to the big retailers, the mom and pop shops, specialty shops, and even looked online. I had the most difficult time deciding, as Kevin pretty much left the final decision up to me. He said he would be happy with a lot of the things we looked at. For me, I had a vision of what I wanted, but, most importantly, I had a vision of the price too. I wasn't about to put ourselves in a financial situation over furniture.
In the end we settled on some great furniture, but we had to special order another chair, our accent chair, and it won't be here for 8-10 weeks! eeww! I hate waiting on anything. Again, I have the patience of a toddler. But the couch and end tables are being delivered today! exciting! The lawn furniture is already getting old. Glad to see it go back to the garage.
We will also have a newly painted house by the end of next week--all new colors everywhere in the house, including the baby's room. Now this is ultra exciting. But it's going to be a severe pain to move all the furniture in the house around while painting is getting done, especially in the very small bedrooms. But we'll make it work!
I'll put up pics when all the furniture arrives and we are reset-up. Yea! Getting ready for baby!!
This also meant that we needed to quickly find new furniture at a price that we could manage. We didn't realize how quickly our old furniture would sell. But it was only 2 years old and was in excellent condition and we sold it all at great prices, so of course it sold quickly! Mission accomplished.
The hunt began for a new living room set up at the end of last week. We knew for sure we wanted a living room style, not nursery style, glider. Something very "living room-y" looking and very nice. My parents have one and it's gorgeous and it's always the favorite place to sit. AND with a bambino on the way, who want's to be banished to rocking the baby in only the nursery? Not me. Finding one of these was a semi-difficult task. In the end, we found a company that makes them but we had to order it from a local retailer from a catalog on a special order. So it won't be here for about 4-6 weeks. There were no local retailers that carry this type of chair. Bummer!
We then went on a mad hunt for the rest of the furniture. We hit soo many stores, I was worn out! We went to the big retailers, the mom and pop shops, specialty shops, and even looked online. I had the most difficult time deciding, as Kevin pretty much left the final decision up to me. He said he would be happy with a lot of the things we looked at. For me, I had a vision of what I wanted, but, most importantly, I had a vision of the price too. I wasn't about to put ourselves in a financial situation over furniture.
In the end we settled on some great furniture, but we had to special order another chair, our accent chair, and it won't be here for 8-10 weeks! eeww! I hate waiting on anything. Again, I have the patience of a toddler. But the couch and end tables are being delivered today! exciting! The lawn furniture is already getting old. Glad to see it go back to the garage.
We will also have a newly painted house by the end of next week--all new colors everywhere in the house, including the baby's room. Now this is ultra exciting. But it's going to be a severe pain to move all the furniture in the house around while painting is getting done, especially in the very small bedrooms. But we'll make it work!
I'll put up pics when all the furniture arrives and we are reset-up. Yea! Getting ready for baby!!
Tired of Talking.....Me?!
I know this will shock many, but lately I haven't wanted to really talk much about our pregnancy with others. I know this sounds insanely odd, but it's alllll we've talked about for months. Before that it was IVF, before that it was infertility treatments, surgeries, and loss. I just kinda want to savor this time in my life, being pregnant with our first baby, a baby that is more than wanted and loved. I've noticed that every time I see someone all they want to talk about is the pregnancy, and I certainly know why. I don't fault them at all, I know they are being caring and supportive. However, I just want to have some time during the pregnancy that is just ours. A time where we don't have to share all the details about our baby with others. So I have found myself cutting pregnancy conversations short and just giving basic information.
Is this odd?
Is this odd?
14 WEEKS!!
So we just had our fourth sonogram of the pregnancy and we are 14 weeks pregnant. It's just now barely starting to feel real. I'm still in awe of the amazing things that are happening inside my body. It's the wildest feeling. I feel so honored and so thankful and so amazed that it's finally happening, but at the same time I still want to remain cautious and unattached. But being unattached to the pregnancy is not fair to our Bean. Our Bean deserves the absolute best we have to offer throughout the entire journey. So I'm coming around to getting REALLY excited and shouting it from the rooftops and dropping my guard.
The appointment went well. Our bean had a HB of about 135 and was hunched in the fetal position when his/her picture appeared on TV screen hanging above our heads. Typically when I use my at-home fetal doppler I always get a HB of about 150-160 for Bean. Now, I don't know how accurate these at-home things really are, so I don't really put too much stock into the readings. I did ask the sono tech about this and she said that we had caught the baby while resting and this is why the HB may be lower than normal. But we did see the baby moving it head around and making suckling motions with its mouth. Makes sense. My cervix also measured 3.68cm. WHOO HOOO!! This is perfectly normal. However, the doc said they will continue to watch it every month, then every 2 weeks through 18-24 weeks, which the doc says is the critical time.
Our bean was about 3 inches in length and had the most beautiful facial profile. You could totally make out the little nose and mouth. It's absolutely crazy to me that in 6 months I will be kissing on that very nose and mouth. We could clearly make out the entire skull and tons of things growing and happening in the head. The entire spine and all the ribs were all so clear, I was amazed at how much had changed in 4 weeks. The baby tripled in size in a month. Now that's a growth rate! Our Bean was all curled up with it legs tucked tightly underneath him/her. The position looked rather uncomfortable. I kept telling the baby to stretch out!
This sono was transvaginal, as we needed to get a more accurate reading of my cervical length. This is a great story! ( Not!) So I'm laying there and the tech. gets the good ol' wand ready for me. She puts the wand in position before inserting...or so she thought. So at this point it's resting against my body. She was not in the right spot, if you know what I mean. I'm laying there looking at the ceiling wondering if she knows it's in the wrong spot or if she's about press on. No, she had no idea. She was ready to press on..and she started to. I started feeling pressure in the WRONG SPOT and realized I had to speak up or I was about to be even more violated than if it was going in the right spot.
Me: " Umm I think you're in the wrong spot."
Tech: Really??!" ( As she looks under the sheet to take a look)
Me: " Yea"
Tech: "Oh my goodness, I'm sorry. Can you just put it in yourself? I don't want to hurt you."
Me: (Silence) With an awkward look on my face while I'm thinking, " Is she freakin serious??!"
Tech: " Yea, just reach under the sheet and grab the wand and push it on."
So I reluctantly do...
Tech: " Aw, perfect. Thanks."
Can you say AWKWARD! Kevin found this entire scene hilarious!
But all that mattered is that our Bean looked great. The appointment with the doc also went well. We covered many, many things and she answered all of my questions, which was a ton. She also told me to stop all of my progesterone and estrogen. I am soo scared to do this! The doc said there was absolutely no risk whatsoever in doing so. She went on to say the placenta was very well formed and there should be no worries. Uuumm...have you met me. I always worry. And I will worry for at least a week after I stop all meds as I rush to check for spotting a zillion times a day. The doc was very, very adamant about me getting a flu shot. I told her I really, really did not want one for many reasons. She looked at me like I was crazy. So she went on to give me her very tough sell and essentially made it seem like if I valued this baby then I would need to get the vaccine. I told her I absolutely was not getting one until I'm further along but that I would think about it in between now and my next appointment that's in a month. So off to do more research..
We are very pleased about this appointment and I give all the Glory to God that my cervix is so far in adequate condition. Soo happy about this!
The appointment went well. Our bean had a HB of about 135 and was hunched in the fetal position when his/her picture appeared on TV screen hanging above our heads. Typically when I use my at-home fetal doppler I always get a HB of about 150-160 for Bean. Now, I don't know how accurate these at-home things really are, so I don't really put too much stock into the readings. I did ask the sono tech about this and she said that we had caught the baby while resting and this is why the HB may be lower than normal. But we did see the baby moving it head around and making suckling motions with its mouth. Makes sense. My cervix also measured 3.68cm. WHOO HOOO!! This is perfectly normal. However, the doc said they will continue to watch it every month, then every 2 weeks through 18-24 weeks, which the doc says is the critical time.
Our bean was about 3 inches in length and had the most beautiful facial profile. You could totally make out the little nose and mouth. It's absolutely crazy to me that in 6 months I will be kissing on that very nose and mouth. We could clearly make out the entire skull and tons of things growing and happening in the head. The entire spine and all the ribs were all so clear, I was amazed at how much had changed in 4 weeks. The baby tripled in size in a month. Now that's a growth rate! Our Bean was all curled up with it legs tucked tightly underneath him/her. The position looked rather uncomfortable. I kept telling the baby to stretch out!
This sono was transvaginal, as we needed to get a more accurate reading of my cervical length. This is a great story! ( Not!) So I'm laying there and the tech. gets the good ol' wand ready for me. She puts the wand in position before inserting...or so she thought. So at this point it's resting against my body. She was not in the right spot, if you know what I mean. I'm laying there looking at the ceiling wondering if she knows it's in the wrong spot or if she's about press on. No, she had no idea. She was ready to press on..and she started to. I started feeling pressure in the WRONG SPOT and realized I had to speak up or I was about to be even more violated than if it was going in the right spot.
Me: " Umm I think you're in the wrong spot."
Tech: Really??!" ( As she looks under the sheet to take a look)
Me: " Yea"
Tech: "Oh my goodness, I'm sorry. Can you just put it in yourself? I don't want to hurt you."
Me: (Silence) With an awkward look on my face while I'm thinking, " Is she freakin serious??!"
Tech: " Yea, just reach under the sheet and grab the wand and push it on."
So I reluctantly do...
Tech: " Aw, perfect. Thanks."
Can you say AWKWARD! Kevin found this entire scene hilarious!
But all that mattered is that our Bean looked great. The appointment with the doc also went well. We covered many, many things and she answered all of my questions, which was a ton. She also told me to stop all of my progesterone and estrogen. I am soo scared to do this! The doc said there was absolutely no risk whatsoever in doing so. She went on to say the placenta was very well formed and there should be no worries. Uuumm...have you met me. I always worry. And I will worry for at least a week after I stop all meds as I rush to check for spotting a zillion times a day. The doc was very, very adamant about me getting a flu shot. I told her I really, really did not want one for many reasons. She looked at me like I was crazy. So she went on to give me her very tough sell and essentially made it seem like if I valued this baby then I would need to get the vaccine. I told her I absolutely was not getting one until I'm further along but that I would think about it in between now and my next appointment that's in a month. So off to do more research..
We are very pleased about this appointment and I give all the Glory to God that my cervix is so far in adequate condition. Soo happy about this!
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Hello! TMI
I realize you all probably do not want to know this, and I apologize for again over sharing (Actually, there are many disgusting things I have refrained from posting about this lovely process..so consider yourselves lucky), but I gotta tell someone---other than my husband, so I guess the world wide web is the next logical choice, right?!
I am in love with my new boobs. No, I didn't get a secret breast augmentation, at least not via a knife in a surgical suite, but rather through hormone supplementation--more specifically, progesterone. Man, my boobs are so awesome! Now, if you see me on the street it's not like you're going to be shocked when you see me due to a massive chest change, but for Kevin and I, it is definitely noticeable..and I think it's safe to say we are both loving the new change :) I don't know if it's that they are larger, as my bras still fit fine, but things are just spilling out the top. So things are just full and awesome. But not the painful full that all of us infertiles know so well when being on hormones. It's a nice change.
Unlike most, I assume, I only drink water and I drink about a gallon, or 120 ounces, of water per day. By staying adequately hydrated you actually retain less excess fluid in your tissue by keeping your kidneys working to pull all unnecessary water from the body. So if I didn't drink so much water I can't imagine how much my chest would have enlarged by now. Now I see why some women say they go up a cup size during early pregnancy.
Just another random though. I know you all feel so privileged that I decided to share.
I am in love with my new boobs. No, I didn't get a secret breast augmentation, at least not via a knife in a surgical suite, but rather through hormone supplementation--more specifically, progesterone. Man, my boobs are so awesome! Now, if you see me on the street it's not like you're going to be shocked when you see me due to a massive chest change, but for Kevin and I, it is definitely noticeable..and I think it's safe to say we are both loving the new change :) I don't know if it's that they are larger, as my bras still fit fine, but things are just spilling out the top. So things are just full and awesome. But not the painful full that all of us infertiles know so well when being on hormones. It's a nice change.
Unlike most, I assume, I only drink water and I drink about a gallon, or 120 ounces, of water per day. By staying adequately hydrated you actually retain less excess fluid in your tissue by keeping your kidneys working to pull all unnecessary water from the body. So if I didn't drink so much water I can't imagine how much my chest would have enlarged by now. Now I see why some women say they go up a cup size during early pregnancy.
Just another random though. I know you all feel so privileged that I decided to share.
Friday, September 16, 2011
O.J!
Random thought, I can't get enough orange juice. It is so amazing right now and I have no idea why. I've always liked orange juice just fine, but never have I been given a full glass and drank it completely before coming up for air..until recently. Wow.
The running joke in our house right now is that I say everything that I'm really diggin' on or really craving is "Amaaazing" right after eating or drinking it. This is pretty much all I say, " Oh my gosh, movie theatre popcorn sounds so amazing right now" or " Do you smell that? It's jalepenos. Someone is eating jalepenos. Oh that sounds so amazing right now..with some nachos..yea, some nachos sound amazing too." So Kevin walks around the house in his best Kristen voice saying, " Everything is just so amaaazing right now." Well, it is!
Random again....I want a baby bump, dang it! Like, 2 days ago! PRONTO!
The running joke in our house right now is that I say everything that I'm really diggin' on or really craving is "Amaaazing" right after eating or drinking it. This is pretty much all I say, " Oh my gosh, movie theatre popcorn sounds so amazing right now" or " Do you smell that? It's jalepenos. Someone is eating jalepenos. Oh that sounds so amazing right now..with some nachos..yea, some nachos sound amazing too." So Kevin walks around the house in his best Kristen voice saying, " Everything is just so amaaazing right now." Well, it is!
Random again....I want a baby bump, dang it! Like, 2 days ago! PRONTO!
" You may now kiss the bride." Warning: Extra Long Post!
Marriage. The need for companionship rules most of our hearts, at least for some parts of our lives. This means that the majority will marry. Most will find what I hope is a life partner, someone whom they can expose all their dirty little secrets and become one with. It is with this person that we are called to hold a three cord bond with, one for each spouse and one for God. Three cords garners much more power and strength and will yield a stronger marital bond. I honestly don't know how people make it 50 years without the third cord! It amazes me, as I know first hand some of the intense struggles that come along with marriage.
We have been married for three years. We both waited to get married until we were a little older than most. Between the both of us we dated way more than plenty of other people, fulfilled all of our desires to enjoy the night life, went to college, Kevin went to the Air Force just as he had planned, we both lived with plenty of roommates, coming and going as we pleased....we pretty much had ample time to get to know ourselves some, have a lot of fun, make plenty of mistakes, and prepare for a life long commitment..or so we thought.
Marriage is difficult. Yes, we are told that at every corner. But, today, we are mostly told that by those sitting on the anti-marriage bandwagon following societal and cultural dictation about what marriage is or isn't. They are so full of crap. They feed into our culture an immoral, sacrilegious, and dreadful woe about marriage that just isn't true. They demonize incorrect views about the roles of husband and wife, about how a married man thinks, about how a married women should treat her husband, how she should look..and the egregious list goes on and on and on. How in the world can a husband and wife team work uphill against the antagonistic view of marriage in our society?
You have to be committed at all costs, unwilling to waiver, have realistic expectations, and most importantly, you MUST view your spouse and serving your spouse in your marriage through the eyes of Christ. Not always will you take out the trash for your husband even though it may be "his" chore because you just really want to do something sweet for him, because we all know there are days that you don't love where you are in your marriage so you just gotta "faith it", but instead you take out the trash for him because you are being obedient to Christ through serving your spouse. We have immense duty to God and our spouses when we take our vows. So much bigger than most realize, I think. Your motto should always be, " What can I do to make his/her life better/greater/easier today." If you do this, success and blessings will find you.
On to the point, Kevin and I were hit hard with some big stuff after marrying. And it just seemed to keep coming..and coming...I was back in school, we couldn't get pregnant, Kevin was soon back in school, I was undergoing very time consuming and money consuming oral reconstruction surgeries, a process that lasted about a year and a half, we both were working full time, heavy family issues occurred, and it became apparent there was great disparity between our expectations for marriage and what marriage would look like. I went into a really low spot for a long while that only exacerbated the entire problem, and, of course, there was always money concerns with us both being is school, we had our four dogs, one of which required very expensive bone surgery--three times--then she got gravely ill after surgery from a MRSA infection, yes, the same one that kills humans, then she needed underwater treadmill therapy to recover properly...I write all this to show that we felt like it was always something..and we were breaking with each new event. We were overworked, overschooled, in a whirlwind after realizing we had some big issues with getting pregnant, and just mentally exhausted with everything happening in our life. We weren't prepared to handle the normal wave of life events that partners must tackle together. We were still involved in church and seeking God through it all but there was just a disconnect.
The uphill battle was feeling like too much. So we started seeing a Biblical counselor. We have been seeing her weekly ever since. Even when we felt like we were on the same page and we had finally found higher ground, we agreed to keep seeing her as we want to be the best we can be and, for us, she only helps to make us better as a functional unit. On this note, we both have grown immensely during the years we have spent pondering what it means to us and God to be married, what it should look like as we serve one another and work to become more Christ-like. The growth has been nothing short of pure beauty. When God is your center and he is your focus, wonderful things ensue. I love my husband more today than the day I heard the pastor say, " You may now kiss the bride."
We both have worked diligently together and separately to become the couple we are today, which is far from perfect as we are still able to identify many areas of opportunity in our marriage. I watched Kevin last week describe to our counselor as he cupped his hands as if holding water that he tries to view me like a baby bird sitting on the palms of his hands. A baby bird that he must protect and provide for at all costs. It was a beautiful moment as I listened to his genuine, heartfelt words pour from his mouth. My husband was on the edge of his seat describing with his hands and with such tenderness in his voice how he viewed one of his roles as my husband. Slow and steady wins the race, right.
Kevin is currently reading the book, " Understanding the Mind of a Women". It's writte from a biblical perspective and really speaks to men quite well from what I've heard. Every few days I will get an email from Kevin detailing something he has read that has really touched him or something he thinks is really applicable to him, me, or us. Here are some of those message excerpts from the book and Kevin:
*
*
We have been married for three years. We both waited to get married until we were a little older than most. Between the both of us we dated way more than plenty of other people, fulfilled all of our desires to enjoy the night life, went to college, Kevin went to the Air Force just as he had planned, we both lived with plenty of roommates, coming and going as we pleased....we pretty much had ample time to get to know ourselves some, have a lot of fun, make plenty of mistakes, and prepare for a life long commitment..or so we thought.
Marriage is difficult. Yes, we are told that at every corner. But, today, we are mostly told that by those sitting on the anti-marriage bandwagon following societal and cultural dictation about what marriage is or isn't. They are so full of crap. They feed into our culture an immoral, sacrilegious, and dreadful woe about marriage that just isn't true. They demonize incorrect views about the roles of husband and wife, about how a married man thinks, about how a married women should treat her husband, how she should look..and the egregious list goes on and on and on. How in the world can a husband and wife team work uphill against the antagonistic view of marriage in our society?
You have to be committed at all costs, unwilling to waiver, have realistic expectations, and most importantly, you MUST view your spouse and serving your spouse in your marriage through the eyes of Christ. Not always will you take out the trash for your husband even though it may be "his" chore because you just really want to do something sweet for him, because we all know there are days that you don't love where you are in your marriage so you just gotta "faith it", but instead you take out the trash for him because you are being obedient to Christ through serving your spouse. We have immense duty to God and our spouses when we take our vows. So much bigger than most realize, I think. Your motto should always be, " What can I do to make his/her life better/greater/easier today." If you do this, success and blessings will find you.
On to the point, Kevin and I were hit hard with some big stuff after marrying. And it just seemed to keep coming..and coming...I was back in school, we couldn't get pregnant, Kevin was soon back in school, I was undergoing very time consuming and money consuming oral reconstruction surgeries, a process that lasted about a year and a half, we both were working full time, heavy family issues occurred, and it became apparent there was great disparity between our expectations for marriage and what marriage would look like. I went into a really low spot for a long while that only exacerbated the entire problem, and, of course, there was always money concerns with us both being is school, we had our four dogs, one of which required very expensive bone surgery--three times--then she got gravely ill after surgery from a MRSA infection, yes, the same one that kills humans, then she needed underwater treadmill therapy to recover properly...I write all this to show that we felt like it was always something..and we were breaking with each new event. We were overworked, overschooled, in a whirlwind after realizing we had some big issues with getting pregnant, and just mentally exhausted with everything happening in our life. We weren't prepared to handle the normal wave of life events that partners must tackle together. We were still involved in church and seeking God through it all but there was just a disconnect.
The uphill battle was feeling like too much. So we started seeing a Biblical counselor. We have been seeing her weekly ever since. Even when we felt like we were on the same page and we had finally found higher ground, we agreed to keep seeing her as we want to be the best we can be and, for us, she only helps to make us better as a functional unit. On this note, we both have grown immensely during the years we have spent pondering what it means to us and God to be married, what it should look like as we serve one another and work to become more Christ-like. The growth has been nothing short of pure beauty. When God is your center and he is your focus, wonderful things ensue. I love my husband more today than the day I heard the pastor say, " You may now kiss the bride."
We both have worked diligently together and separately to become the couple we are today, which is far from perfect as we are still able to identify many areas of opportunity in our marriage. I watched Kevin last week describe to our counselor as he cupped his hands as if holding water that he tries to view me like a baby bird sitting on the palms of his hands. A baby bird that he must protect and provide for at all costs. It was a beautiful moment as I listened to his genuine, heartfelt words pour from his mouth. My husband was on the edge of his seat describing with his hands and with such tenderness in his voice how he viewed one of his roles as my husband. Slow and steady wins the race, right.
Kevin is currently reading the book, " Understanding the Mind of a Women". It's writte from a biblical perspective and really speaks to men quite well from what I've heard. Every few days I will get an email from Kevin detailing something he has read that has really touched him or something he thinks is really applicable to him, me, or us. Here are some of those message excerpts from the book and Kevin:
*
In Chapter 3 he speaks of “Four Male Prejudices”. The third prejudice is “When are inferior to men.” In this section he explains exactly why God created woman… Eve. In Genesis it explains that God created woman as a help meet… not helpmate. Our society, and translations of the Bible, has made it to mean that women were created to “help” their husbands. However, he explains it in the following manner…
“God, being able to see into the future, knew that after the Fall, He and Adam would be separated. Adam would then indeed be alone, separated from God. In anticipation of that event, God invented a helper, one who could serve to accomplish God’s purpose of reestablishing spiritual sensitivity.”
“God provided a man with a tangible, visible means of discerning whether or not he is on track about becoming more and more like Christ and sensitive in his spirit to the Spirit of God.”
“Basically, God is saying, “After the Fall, I know you won’t have a clue about what godliness is, so I’m providing you with a helper. This helper will provide you with a means of measuring whether or not you are becoming more and more like what I want you to be, spiritually alive and functional. Christ is your example and the way. Then as you become more Christlike, you will also be furnishing your wife with the leadership that provides an example worth following. Together you can reestablish the spirit-to-spirit relationship with God that was lost.”
Final thought: Becoming like Christ is not something that happens overnight, but something that will take time. I need you to KINDLY remind me when I may do something that is not consistent with my journey of growing to be Christlike.
*
The paragraphs below prompted thought in me this morning. The chapter is regarding Desirable Qualities in a Man. These paragraphs are under the third desirable quality, “He Is Sensitive to Her and Other People”.
“Emotions are difficult for most men to register because they are experienced for only a couple of seconds. Repeatedly, I have to take men back and introduce them to their own emotions as part of the process of validating emotions. As a man experiences his emotions and gives them credibility, he begins to see their value. He is ignorant about his own emotions, and thereby ignorant about his wife’s. But to get into her heart, to appear sensitive to his wife, he has to value her emotions and honor them as valid.
Beyond that, I have to help a man see that his lack of awareness of his emotional condition makes it almost impossible for him to recognize how insensitive he is in the eyes of his wife. A man may be aware of insensitivity in others long before he recognizes how insensitive he is.”
Takeaway: I need to be able to recognize and understand my own feelings and emotions, before I can truly understand and validate yours. Hopefully, I will learn this during my walk with God.
*
As a man, I am used to doing things myself, my way. So I am literally telling you, “Whenever you see me making decisions that don’t include you, and whether or not you are going to be involved in it, please let me know your thinking.”
I have to admit that my flesh has a non-inclusive attitude of selfishness. I pray that God blesses me through you by revealing un-Christlike attitudes in my heart. My tendency is to be much more exclusive than I may realize.
How God is so faithful!
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Baby's Heartbeat on Fetal Doppler!
Check out this link to hear our baby's HB on our new fetal doppler. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQEzhiDF3Q4
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Pregnancy, Pregnancy, Pregnancy...
I'm sorry to anyone that reads the things I type here every week, however few, as they are undoubtedly redundant. I know, I know, how much can one talk about pregnancy, right? Well, first, you don't know me; I can expend more words than anyone you have ever met. And, two, although I am over the moon to finally be pregnant with a healthy pregnancy, I write a lot of the stuff I write about pregnancy merely to chronicle my journey so I may use this time in my life for something bigger in the future. This blog is my personal journal in many aspects.
So onto the newest pregnancy "issue" of the day. First, I need to handle the topic of 'showing': having a baby bump. I do notice that right above my pubic bone there is puffiness, whether I look at myself straight on or from the side, however slight. I can also feel the very slight bump. The area doesn't feel extra tight or extra soft or anything like that, it's just starting to protrude a little. This is definitely something that is a long way from being seen by others while I wear my normal attire. At this point, it is a minuscule change that only Kevin and I notice if we look for it while I'm virtually naked. :)
Which brings me to my next point, WHEN WILL I START TO SHOW FOR REAL?! I know I'm only 11 weeks pregnant, but I feel like I've been waiting a year and a half for this bump. Can it hurry up! ...Please remind me of this when I'm 8 months pregnant and desperate to have this thing out of me.
The second "issue" of the day: round ligament pain? But isn't it too early for these pains? For the last few days I have been having pains that I can only describe as feeling like I've a pulled muscle in the left side of my abdomen. A lot of the time it will only occur when I cough or make a sudden movement and it feels like a sharp muscle pull/strain in my low abdomen on my left side. I noticed today that it was a little more constant and was not associated with any sudden movements--it was more of a low pressure constant pulling pain on the inside in the very same location. It's definitely not cramping. The only equal comparison is some type of muscle pain considering I have no frame of reference for anything pregnancy related. I'm not worried about it, as all else seems normal and I feel great.
It seemed paradoxical for today, on the 10th anniversary of 9/11, to be so relaxing and peaceful, but it was that kind of day. Church was fantastic this morning. We had a great message that really spoke to me.
So onto the newest pregnancy "issue" of the day. First, I need to handle the topic of 'showing': having a baby bump. I do notice that right above my pubic bone there is puffiness, whether I look at myself straight on or from the side, however slight. I can also feel the very slight bump. The area doesn't feel extra tight or extra soft or anything like that, it's just starting to protrude a little. This is definitely something that is a long way from being seen by others while I wear my normal attire. At this point, it is a minuscule change that only Kevin and I notice if we look for it while I'm virtually naked. :)
Which brings me to my next point, WHEN WILL I START TO SHOW FOR REAL?! I know I'm only 11 weeks pregnant, but I feel like I've been waiting a year and a half for this bump. Can it hurry up! ...Please remind me of this when I'm 8 months pregnant and desperate to have this thing out of me.
The second "issue" of the day: round ligament pain? But isn't it too early for these pains? For the last few days I have been having pains that I can only describe as feeling like I've a pulled muscle in the left side of my abdomen. A lot of the time it will only occur when I cough or make a sudden movement and it feels like a sharp muscle pull/strain in my low abdomen on my left side. I noticed today that it was a little more constant and was not associated with any sudden movements--it was more of a low pressure constant pulling pain on the inside in the very same location. It's definitely not cramping. The only equal comparison is some type of muscle pain considering I have no frame of reference for anything pregnancy related. I'm not worried about it, as all else seems normal and I feel great.
It seemed paradoxical for today, on the 10th anniversary of 9/11, to be so relaxing and peaceful, but it was that kind of day. Church was fantastic this morning. We had a great message that really spoke to me.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
I'm a Nut
Today I bought a fetal doppler! Yes, I have REALLY crossed over now. I will be able to listen to our baby's heartbeat anytime I want while laying nice in cozy in my very own bed, not on some hard, cold chair with stirrups. It should be arriving early next week., so excited to try it. The hubs laughed at me for wanting one, but I know he secretly wants one too. I have no doubt he will be the one operating the thing every week. He said it's money very well spent to give me peace of mind....assuming I can find the heartbeat. Otherwise, I will certainly become a lunatic! I will update when it arrives!
It has arrived! I actually picked it up out of the mail box as I was on my way out to go pick up Kevin from work so we could ride together to a joint appointment. As soon as I picked Kevin up from his work, I gladly hurried to the passenger seat so I could play with my new toy. I start tearing in to the box and Kevin says, " You're not really going to try to do that in the car are you?!" uuhh....duh. Need you ask? Of course I was! We all know I have the patience of a toddler.
So there we were, stuck in traffic, sitting beside a deisel truck with a driver who could undoubtedly see this entire scene go down. I was reclined in my seat, jeans pulled down, with fast food napkins folded in to my panties to protect my clothing from the goopy messiness of the gel, and with a large blob of sonogram gel sitting on my lower--very lower--abdomen. I have never been accused of being modest.
So I searched and searched and heard a lot of beating, all of which sounded too low for the baby, but too high for me. I kept messing with the doppler and repositioning the entire drive. I wasn't content with what I found..but we had to head into our appointment.
So after the appointment---I held off trying again on the ride back home, but I was on my phone googling how to best find the heartbeat. And don't you know as soon as we walked in the front door I was back at at. Kevin helped me this time to see what we could find. We were pretty sure we found it, but it was slightly confusing, as you can scroll across different parts of your abdomen and hear the placenta blood flow and my own femoral artery on the left side--or maybe even my vena cava, too. I don't know, for sure.
Either way, I decided to give it up for the night and get to cooking dinner and hanging with the hubs. BUT, don't you know it was on the agenda today to try to find a consistent HB on the doppler. So I worked for about 10 minutes mapping all the locations that I typically heard something and making logical assumptions as to what each sound was based on tone and pitch variations. (Like I really know! LOL)
Finally, I had found it. It was on my right side, always in the same general area, and I had to push fairly hard to hear it loudly and consistently. It was not a "swishy" sound but an obvious HB, just like what we heard in the doctor's office. It was about 155 beats per minute. How cool!!
Now that I'm content I will not use the doppler super often, as I don't want to unknowingly jeopardize anything with all the pushing on my uterus and sono waves passing through. I only bought it for the days that I'm freaking out and wondering if the baby is still in there. :)
Great investment for a chick like me! It is so surreal to hear that sound coming from inside your belly--knowing there is something living in there. There are no words.
It has arrived! I actually picked it up out of the mail box as I was on my way out to go pick up Kevin from work so we could ride together to a joint appointment. As soon as I picked Kevin up from his work, I gladly hurried to the passenger seat so I could play with my new toy. I start tearing in to the box and Kevin says, " You're not really going to try to do that in the car are you?!" uuhh....duh. Need you ask? Of course I was! We all know I have the patience of a toddler.
So there we were, stuck in traffic, sitting beside a deisel truck with a driver who could undoubtedly see this entire scene go down. I was reclined in my seat, jeans pulled down, with fast food napkins folded in to my panties to protect my clothing from the goopy messiness of the gel, and with a large blob of sonogram gel sitting on my lower--very lower--abdomen. I have never been accused of being modest.
So I searched and searched and heard a lot of beating, all of which sounded too low for the baby, but too high for me. I kept messing with the doppler and repositioning the entire drive. I wasn't content with what I found..but we had to head into our appointment.
So after the appointment---I held off trying again on the ride back home, but I was on my phone googling how to best find the heartbeat. And don't you know as soon as we walked in the front door I was back at at. Kevin helped me this time to see what we could find. We were pretty sure we found it, but it was slightly confusing, as you can scroll across different parts of your abdomen and hear the placenta blood flow and my own femoral artery on the left side--or maybe even my vena cava, too. I don't know, for sure.
Either way, I decided to give it up for the night and get to cooking dinner and hanging with the hubs. BUT, don't you know it was on the agenda today to try to find a consistent HB on the doppler. So I worked for about 10 minutes mapping all the locations that I typically heard something and making logical assumptions as to what each sound was based on tone and pitch variations. (Like I really know! LOL)
Finally, I had found it. It was on my right side, always in the same general area, and I had to push fairly hard to hear it loudly and consistently. It was not a "swishy" sound but an obvious HB, just like what we heard in the doctor's office. It was about 155 beats per minute. How cool!!
Now that I'm content I will not use the doppler super often, as I don't want to unknowingly jeopardize anything with all the pushing on my uterus and sono waves passing through. I only bought it for the days that I'm freaking out and wondering if the baby is still in there. :)
Great investment for a chick like me! It is so surreal to hear that sound coming from inside your belly--knowing there is something living in there. There are no words.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
I Feel Great!
I will be 11 weeks tomorrow and I feel great! I noticed last night that I was able to cook meat without the slightest bit of hesitation. I felt absolutely no need to vomit whatsoever. I even purposefully stared at the meat to see if it evoked any response. Nope, none. WHOOO HOO!
My energy and mental capacity is better, too! My tiredness is 100 times better and I feel far more energetic and upbeat. As I have mentioned before, I'm not exactly sure how to describe how I was feeling for the last month, but it teetered somewhere between super tired and melancholy. I just had no energy or life in me. But for the last few days, I've been feeling perfect. Actually a little better than perfect.
I feel like I have my old pep in the step back and I can actually be productive without it feeling like I just ran 20 miles in 100 degree weather. That's what it felt like to make it to the grocery store and back. I'm still burping like a man, but that's really no biggie. The hubs finds it quite amusing.
Since we all know if you look up worry wart in the dictionary there my picture will appear, so I do wonder if feeling this great in a matter of days is normal. Does is indicate something wrong with the pregnancy? Is the baby still in there growing like it should? The bad news is that I have to wait about three more weeks for my next sonogram. It's killer!
Just for the record, I think I'm far more informed about pregnancy than even the nurses at OB and RE's offices. They give me these cooker cutter answers that are so dumbed down. Even when I push for more details, they can't seem to explain things I know to be true.
My energy and mental capacity is better, too! My tiredness is 100 times better and I feel far more energetic and upbeat. As I have mentioned before, I'm not exactly sure how to describe how I was feeling for the last month, but it teetered somewhere between super tired and melancholy. I just had no energy or life in me. But for the last few days, I've been feeling perfect. Actually a little better than perfect.
I feel like I have my old pep in the step back and I can actually be productive without it feeling like I just ran 20 miles in 100 degree weather. That's what it felt like to make it to the grocery store and back. I'm still burping like a man, but that's really no biggie. The hubs finds it quite amusing.
Since we all know if you look up worry wart in the dictionary there my picture will appear, so I do wonder if feeling this great in a matter of days is normal. Does is indicate something wrong with the pregnancy? Is the baby still in there growing like it should? The bad news is that I have to wait about three more weeks for my next sonogram. It's killer!
Just for the record, I think I'm far more informed about pregnancy than even the nurses at OB and RE's offices. They give me these cooker cutter answers that are so dumbed down. Even when I push for more details, they can't seem to explain things I know to be true.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Labor Day Brings New Things
This Labor Day had a rough start, but we figured things out and ended up having an awesome weekend. Kevin and I had a great weekend that was full of errands, relaxation, quality time spent with the granimals, and also some newness.
One of the first aspects of "newness" was that Kevin built a new dog ramp to assist our four-legged babies hop on and off the bed easier. We really wanted something more size appropriate because one of our big girls has two bum hips and one of our little guys is old and has sticks for legs. I often imagine hearing one of his little legs snapping in two as I watch him jump off the bed.
The other "newness" is Eli's new haircut! It's certainly not perfect, as I was the groomer, but Eli and I worked well together. While Kevin worked in the garage in the BEAUTIFUL weather building the dog ramp, I brought all of my supplies to the garage floor and prepared the stage. It worked out perfectly as Kevin and I could listen to some good music together and chit chat while we both got things accomplished.
Eli is always great for his grooms, and this weekend was no exception. He actually was better than usual, as it was apparent he loved the cool garage floor. He laid down about half of the time and let me work on one side of him, then I'd flip him to work on the other side. He is soo dang cute!
The one thing I didn't account for was the wind this weekend. By the end of grooming hour I was covered in dog hair, and I mean covered, as was Eli. So it was straight to the shower for Eli, then straight to the shower or Mom after we were all done.
Here is my little man looking handsome..
This was a great weekend! The beautiful weather, of course, didn't hurt. It actually helped to make this weekend perfect. The dogs loved being able to get out and walk on the cement without having their pads seared off. It was also awesome to have the windows opened in the house which allowed for some much needed fresh air to circulate through. I looove the smell of fresh air!
I also got a toooo cute new workout outfit (hahaha, I say workout outfit. Funny joke. I don't work out, I walk slowly on the treadmill.) But it's equally important to look great while walking on the treadmill while your home alone in the guest room of your house, right? I'm sad the holiday weekend is gone, but I guess that's what makes holiday weekends so special--- there isn't too many of them.
One of the first aspects of "newness" was that Kevin built a new dog ramp to assist our four-legged babies hop on and off the bed easier. We really wanted something more size appropriate because one of our big girls has two bum hips and one of our little guys is old and has sticks for legs. I often imagine hearing one of his little legs snapping in two as I watch him jump off the bed.
The New Ramp! ( We have it temporarily sitting on a dog blanket just to be sure the new stain doesn't harm the carpet)
I had full intention of uploading a video of the dogs learning to navigate the new ramp, but, again, blogspot won't upload my video.
The other "newness" is Eli's new haircut! It's certainly not perfect, as I was the groomer, but Eli and I worked well together. While Kevin worked in the garage in the BEAUTIFUL weather building the dog ramp, I brought all of my supplies to the garage floor and prepared the stage. It worked out perfectly as Kevin and I could listen to some good music together and chit chat while we both got things accomplished.
Eli is always great for his grooms, and this weekend was no exception. He actually was better than usual, as it was apparent he loved the cool garage floor. He laid down about half of the time and let me work on one side of him, then I'd flip him to work on the other side. He is soo dang cute!
The one thing I didn't account for was the wind this weekend. By the end of grooming hour I was covered in dog hair, and I mean covered, as was Eli. So it was straight to the shower for Eli, then straight to the shower or Mom after we were all done.
Here is my little man looking handsome..
This was a great weekend! The beautiful weather, of course, didn't hurt. It actually helped to make this weekend perfect. The dogs loved being able to get out and walk on the cement without having their pads seared off. It was also awesome to have the windows opened in the house which allowed for some much needed fresh air to circulate through. I looove the smell of fresh air!
I also got a toooo cute new workout outfit (hahaha, I say workout outfit. Funny joke. I don't work out, I walk slowly on the treadmill.) But it's equally important to look great while walking on the treadmill while your home alone in the guest room of your house, right? I'm sad the holiday weekend is gone, but I guess that's what makes holiday weekends so special--- there isn't too many of them.
Monday, September 5, 2011
Did I Miss This in the Book?!
This is totally TMI, but I must chronicle this aspect of being pregnant so I can laugh at myself later. It has become grossly apparent I skipped over reading about this part of pregnancy in all of my books and today I discovered an egregious travesty being committed against my body.
Are you ready for this? Drum roll, please.....Today while changing into my cute new workout clothes I found it..them. I was in shock. I am growing dark hair all around my belly button, above my belly button, and BELOW my belly button! Hello!--I never read in any of my books that I would turn into a man beast with a happy trail! EEWWWW! Within moments I had my hands on my trusty tweezers. I think I will wax this mess in the future, but with such short notice this was the best solution to get rid of this hideousness immediately.
The second task on the agenda was to Google what I had found to see if I was a lone anomaly. Apparently..NOT. There are tons of women who testify to being just as grossed out as I was by finding the exact same thing on their own bodies. You always hear that your hair will grow luscious and thick while pregnant because the hormones change how long each individual hair stays in a resting phase. Apparently this also means that with a higher than normal androgen level circulating from pregnancy, you also grow luscious, thick hair IN NEW SPOTS, TOO!
All I can say is gross. I was totally appalled. Lord, please don't let anymore new hairs pop up!
Are you ready for this? Drum roll, please.....Today while changing into my cute new workout clothes I found it..them. I was in shock. I am growing dark hair all around my belly button, above my belly button, and BELOW my belly button! Hello!--I never read in any of my books that I would turn into a man beast with a happy trail! EEWWWW! Within moments I had my hands on my trusty tweezers. I think I will wax this mess in the future, but with such short notice this was the best solution to get rid of this hideousness immediately.
The second task on the agenda was to Google what I had found to see if I was a lone anomaly. Apparently..NOT. There are tons of women who testify to being just as grossed out as I was by finding the exact same thing on their own bodies. You always hear that your hair will grow luscious and thick while pregnant because the hormones change how long each individual hair stays in a resting phase. Apparently this also means that with a higher than normal androgen level circulating from pregnancy, you also grow luscious, thick hair IN NEW SPOTS, TOO!
All I can say is gross. I was totally appalled. Lord, please don't let anymore new hairs pop up!
Friday, September 2, 2011
So Tired
So there is not much to this entry other than sharing that I am always soo tired. Not so much that I can always pass out and sleep at anytime of the day tired, but like seriously unmotivated 'tired'. For anyone that knows me well, I have a very intricate scheduling system/planner that I utilize every single day, no matter what's on the agenda---and the agenda gets done everyday, with very few exceptions. This is a trademark of my 'Modified Type A Personality' as I was told by our counselor.
However, for the last month, not even my faulty brain wiring can overcome my insane lack of motivation. It is seriously a chore to feed our dogs breakfast. I literally have to sit down, process that act of feeding them, give myself a pep talk, and I ultimately begrudgingly get up and get the task done as quickly as possible.
At first I was worried I was feeling depressed. After all, isn't a lack of motivation what all the depression medication commercials always say is one of the cornerstones of first identifying depression. :) But as I gave it more thought, I'm not depressed. I feel good in the head and in the mind. I just can't will myself to do anything. It's so weird, as it's so uncharacteristic of me.
So until it fades I'm telling myself it's all due to me growing fingers and toes with fingernails and a fully functioning heart inside my body. I think I may need to come up with a different excuse next time I need my husband to cook dinner though. I think he is burned out on that one. Any ideas?
However, for the last month, not even my faulty brain wiring can overcome my insane lack of motivation. It is seriously a chore to feed our dogs breakfast. I literally have to sit down, process that act of feeding them, give myself a pep talk, and I ultimately begrudgingly get up and get the task done as quickly as possible.
At first I was worried I was feeling depressed. After all, isn't a lack of motivation what all the depression medication commercials always say is one of the cornerstones of first identifying depression. :) But as I gave it more thought, I'm not depressed. I feel good in the head and in the mind. I just can't will myself to do anything. It's so weird, as it's so uncharacteristic of me.
So until it fades I'm telling myself it's all due to me growing fingers and toes with fingernails and a fully functioning heart inside my body. I think I may need to come up with a different excuse next time I need my husband to cook dinner though. I think he is burned out on that one. Any ideas?
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