40 Weeks! Wow, we've made it!

So here is my very last pregnancy picture to post. How sad.  :) I have loved taking these pictures and watching the transition of my baby belly. It has been such a cool experience to carry a baby, a beautiful experience. It is my heart that everyone that is blessed to carry life may find a similar joy and respect for pregnancy. I think pregnancy is an expectation for some and therefore taken for granted, which ultimately ends up negating some of the magnificence of the actual process in the minds of some. So it is my sincerest prayer that the miracle of life be revered by men and women alike. It truly is an honor from above. God is giving you that sweet life on loan.

Okay, okay, enough with the touchy feely stuff. In my defense, I have mentioned numerous times the hormones are OUT OF CONTROL as of late. Holy Moly! So here's my 40 week picture..oh, and just for a comparison, here is me also at 5 weeks pregnant.

 This is the post-pregnancy goal!

March 29, 2012
40 Weeks
I weigh 132#
This makes a total pregnancy weight gain of about 20 pounds.
Baby is estimated to weigh as of yesterday anywhere from 6 pounds and 4 ounces to 7 pounds and 14 ounces

Oh My, it is here!

So here's the update peeps--

After our appointment with the peri yesterday, apparently he (the peri) saw my OB at the hospital after- hours when they were both doing rounds yesterday evening and he gave her the report on me. By the time I called my OB's office at 8:30am this morning, the nurse and my OB were already aware the peri was recommending I be induced next week and were expecting my call.

So..it looks like I'll be induced on Wednesday, April 4th at 6 am.  It's weird how I've literally been preparing for this baby for sooo long, yet when I know I'm about to meet the baby I all of the sudden feel a little rushed--like it's happening too soon. LOL . BUT CAN'T WAIT!

As I have expressed I really do not want to be induced, but I know there are faaaar worse things in life. So if it happens I'm certainly not going to let it mar my experience. Although a C-Section might be another story--I'm still working on that one. That's a biggie for me right now. But I've given it to God and I know he will prepare me for whatever needs to happens. The most important thing is a healthy mom and baby.

In an effort to see if I can go into spontaneous labor before Wednesday I did go have acupuncture today at 11am to try to "naturally" induce labor. She said most women will see an affect within in 24-48 hours. So we'll see how it goes. I'm really hopeful it will happen. But, if not, at least I know I have literally done everything I know of barring a medical induction to get things going. :)

For the rest of the day, I'll be showering, getting things cleaned up,  and getting some last minute things done around the house just in case things to do happen this weekend.

I can't believe the time is here! It is TOTALLY surreal. It really does feel like a dream. Surely this all can't be real, right?! To wait and wait and wait for this day, then for it to be here...my brain will need a little time to adjust. But it's certainly one adjustment I'm more than excited and willing to make!

And for anyone who is wondering, Kevin and I are in a better place. I figured I should probably remove him from " my list" given the fact we are about to tag team labor together--well, I guess to be fair, I may have a slightly larger role in the whole labor thing-- and we're about to have one of the most special days of our lives. :)

Peri Appointment...Drum Roll, Please...

Something crazy is happening, I tell you. Something crazy, amazing and good. Something only God can do, I'm sure.

Kevin and I were armed with our data ( Kevin so kindly made multiple spread sheets tracking our baby's femur's growth referencing norms and stats.) and list of questions for our appointment with the perinatologist. Thankfully he was pretty prompt so there was minimal agony waiting for answers.

We saw Dr. Graham today. He is my least favorite in the practice, but, hey, beggers shouldn't be choosey when you need an expert to confirm or deny whether there is anything wrong with your baby. I think he is just one of those so smart people that he has minimal personality and wears odd jewelry and puts way too much gel in his hair. Anyhoo..

Typically, these peris are FAST with the sonos! So fast you can't even remember why you are there and what you wanted to ask. This is why we were armed with our list of hand written questions. This was our last shot to find out if there was any merit to the baby's poorly progressing femur growth before we actually meet the baby.

Luckily, he was thorough. We specifically requested he check the humerus bone so we could see if the bone length was proportional to the femur. He also checked about every other bone in the body as well. He looked at this baby from top to bottom. The heart, the ventricles in the brain, the kidneys, every inch of the legs and arms and noted how the baby had its ankles crossed, if the knees on each leg seemed to be in the same location on either leg, if the arms and legs flowed and had a natural progression visually.  I was so relieved I wasn't having to force him to be thorough and he wasn't rushing the exam. This was exactly what we needed and wanted. In my opinion, their exams should look like this every time for as much as they charge for their sonograms. Holy cow---$2,000. Luckily at this point in the game for us, we can rely on our insurance that I'm quite sure hates me.

We asked a lot of questions and he gave us a lot of answers. We let him know we were there to rule out skeletal dysplasia based on serial growth measurements over the last couple of months showing the baby's femur was approx. 5-6 weeks behind, with no growth in the last two weeks. So he looked and looked and looked and took multiple measurements of every bone in the body to get solid averages.

Drum roll, please..the baby is perfectly and wonderfully proportionate and beautiful. No abnormalities seen...anywhere.  But here is the kicker, the amazing part of the story. He took many, many measurements of the femurs to make sure he got a good average. His numbers were far different than the many, many numbers we have gotten from our OB's office when they have measured the baby's femurs. And it's always the same person measuring at our OB's office, so it's not like there could be an error due to two different measuring techniques.  We're talking three weeks different. And in femur terms, 3 weeks is A LOT!  We asked Dr. Graham about this and he had no explanation other than to say the numbers don't lie. And he feels confident in the numbers he was getting today. Whether there was just a fluke something going on multiple times at my OB's office with their sonograms or not, I guess it doesn't matter at this point. One thing we do know is that God is The Great physician and healer.

On a different note, he had quite the opinion on when I should deliver. He is recommending to my OB that if I don't spontaneously deliver by the beginning of next week, for me to be induced sometime next week. This means a week earlier than I want.  He was very adamant that I do not need to go past 41 weeks. I told him that I want Mother Nature to do her thing. His response, which I thought was a joke and actually busted out laughing, but quickly realized I was the only one laughing, " Mother nature doesn't always have the best things planned for you."..Isn't that funny?!

I then went on to say that I believe the body is designed for labor. His response, " Well, your body was also supposed to be designed to be able to conceive, yet it couldn't and you needed to go to IVF. ( Nice one, doc) So if that's broken on the front end, maybe the ticker on the back end is broken too. And once you get past 41 weeks the risk for lots of things going wrong climbs.You need to be proactive rather than reactive. You need to control the situation. And since this is an IVF baby you need to safeguard your investment and minimize all risks. So you need to induce as to not go past 41 weeks." He also went on to say that since my body is favorable at 1-2 cm and 90%, that there is minimal concern with going through with an induction, in his opinion.

Hmmmm....I do have to say he makes a good point about there being good indicators that my body may be broken ' on the back end' too. I mean, this whole journey has been an uphill battle. One does have to consider historical data. Although God is bigger and more powerful than any historical data trend line. I'll be following up with my OB to see what her thoughts are, although I'm fairly certain she is going to agree and want to put me on the induction schedule for next week.

I'll sleep on it and pray about it.

The more important thing about today's visit: we have a beautiful, perfect baby Bean who does not appear to have Down Syndrome or Dwarfism as we were warned about!! Praise, praise, praise!! I prayed boldly and the Lord came through boldly.  He/she is estimated to weigh 7 pounds and 1 ounce as of today. My sweet petite thing.

Here is a a pic of all the baby's bone stats from today's visit. This is really more for my benefit and future reference.

Feelin incredibly thankful! Much love to all of you who have prayed for us and offered your kind support. It means so much to us.

Another Baby Update ..39.6 Weeks

I took another trip to see the good ol' OB today. The story of my life, right.

The sono went well. The Bean still has their head way low and is in good position. Good news.

The Bean's HR was 139 and my amniotic fluid level was again perfect at 16cm.

She also checked the cord blood flow just to make sure all is still functioning well since we are full term. Great news again. Apparently, they look for some ratio between the diastolic and systolic blood pressure going through the cord and anything under 3 is excellent. Ours was 2.19. So this means the baby is able to get great blood flow and nutrition from the placenta still.

As for my visit, it was not quite the news I was hoping for today.

I have made no progress in the last week. I am still 1-2 cm dilated and 90% effaced and, again, she said, " Wow, the head is right here!" I went on to explain that I'm not really having any contractions and will only have them should I really exert myself, but even then they are non painful and short lived and apparently aren't changing my cervix any.

She then went on to say that given how "favorable" my body feels..and given how long I have been favorable.. and with the baby's head so incredible low, I really should have gone into labor by now..or it should be happening at an second. This makes her a little concerned that it's not going to happen on it's own. She said that you need the passage (birth canal), the package (baby), and the passenger(me) all to be right for natural labor to happen.

Given that the baby is in good position, she said it may be that it's my body shape or size that is interfering with things progressing. She cautioned that even though you may induce a women who is "favorable" if labor hasn't spontaneously happened on it's own, there is a reason. Therefore, this will put me at a greater risk of C-section if I don't go into labor on my own and have to be induced. She fears that I just may not progress well through an induction.

But, of course, we don't know that for a fact. And I'm not going to get super worried about what she's saying just yet. I know I'm "favorable" but it's not like I'm THAT favorable. I'm barely dilated and I still have two days until I hit my actual due date. And most first time moms go late anyway. So I still have great hope my body is well on its way to doing what it needs to do, it's just saying, it's not time yet and we all need to respect that.

I certainly do nooot want a c section. I know there are far worse things in life to have, but I really, really want to exhaust all of my options in an effort to deliver vaginally.  Not the news I was at all wanting to hear this week. This has been a horrible week for me emotionally so I think any and everything is a big deal for me. UHG.

She said she wanted me to get on the schedule for an induction next week, since I'll be 40 weeks this Friday, which is in two days. I told her that I would not consider being induced until I give my body and the baby time to let nature take its course, so after 41 weeks, but not going past 42.  So currently, we have a tentative date of April 11, which is my deceased Granny's birthday which I think is super special, for my induction, which would put me 12 days past my due date, or at 41 weeks and 5 days. So exactly two weeks from today.

I feel really comfortable with that time frame and giving my body the time it may require. I just don't want to rush into an induction, then not progress properly maybe because my body wasn't quite ready, then have to have a C section, which will then set me up for all subsequent C sections for any more babies we may be blessed with. I don't want to have looming regrets or 'what ifs' about the delivery. So I'm going to wait this out and trust in my body. (That's almost a funny joke, right. Okay, well, I'm certainly going to trust in the Lord then.)  Oh man, I can't imagine waiting that much longer though to tell you the truth. Lord, I pray boldly for this baby to come sooner than two weeks and all on its own with a great natural delivery!  :)

I have to admit, I'm feeling a little crummy about this news today. I could barely get pregnant or stay pregnant and now I'm hearing I may not be physically able to deliver. Pretty much makes me feel like a failure as a woman and a soon-to-be mother. Although I do know there is a whole lot more to being a woman than bringing children into this world. I know some fantastic women who have never given birth.  Hopefully I won't always feel this way. Maybe it's just my out of control emotions, I don't know. Man, this has been a crap week so far. And Kevin is still not my favorite person.

And I still have the appointment with the Peri to go to today. It's at 5:15---late! I have asked boldly of God. Praying we get great news this afternoon. If not, I may lock myself in the bathroom later tonight to have a screaming fit. :)

See Ya Monday!

Sooo glad today is over with!  Seriously. Today turned out to be a not good day...at all. At the moment I don't feel like going into every single detail, but here are a few highlights that helped to put me over the edge.

1. My appointment with the peri was cancelled today
2. Severe nausea started and persisted all day, especially after eating. This is totally new.
3. Roller coaster emotions. Well, actually, I'm just clearly full of surging estrogen. Everything makes me cry and feel heart broken. Also new. Awesomeness.
4. I had nothing to do today, which allowed me to indulge in my weepy-ness.
5. Kevin and I had a tiff
6. I am worried about whether there is anything wrong with the Bean
7. I'm anxious to deliver
8. I have a bad sunburn
9. I knew I lost a lot of muscle mass while on bed rest and then going to light duty, but I found that the skin under my biceps now flaps in the wind. Beautiful.
10. Kevin was nice enough to point out the obviousness of the 'pregnancy mask' skin darkening issue I have on my face. Like I don't see it and like it doesn't make me self conscious. ( But, no, this was not what the tiff was over.)
11. Annnd...I have realized that when I sit my belly rests on my thighs. I find this exquisitely charming.
12. Oh, and NO SIGNS OF LABOR!

I know these things will still be there tomorrow. But maybe some sleep will at least give me a new perspective so I can have a better day.

Just as a Precaution ...

So I will be heading to the perinatologist this afternoon to get the expert's opinion on the rather short femur of the Bean. Of course, I'm hoping there is an easy explanation for why the Bean's femur is so short and barely growing, but I can't just wait until delivery to deal with this possible issue. I need to know what to expect on D day, if at all possible.  So I asked my OB if she would mind me going back to the specialist to get his expert eyes' take on the Bean's skeleton.

I'll be headed there this afternoon--for an end of the day appointment. Arg.  It has been a long five days waiting on this appointment, I tell ya. I felt great this weekend. I felt really peaceful about it all. But now that today I will get some news, and I'll have to go to the appointment alone, I'm feeling anxious. (Kevin started a brand new job today ( whooo hooo! This is a major blessing that we have been praying over for months and months!!), so it's not exactly ideal for him to ask for some personal time off so he can go with even though he really wants to be there. He has a list of questions he wants me to ask the doc.  But, we're hoping it is all no big deal, so I should be fine going alone. :)

We have been praying heavily over the Bean this weekend, as have others. Our Bean has been made fearlessly in God's image. Everything God ordains is for our good. And I have the power of the Holy Spirit at my disposal. I am claiming all of these truths today.

Update, my appt. just got moved to Wednesday afternoon due to an emergency with one of the doctors. o.m.g. This wait just got a whole lot longer. ....

Lovin' Our Sweet Family of Two

I want to capture this moment in time, and this moment in my heart. I am in love with our family of two. Of course, I'll be IN LOVE with our family of three and I can't imagine us not about to turn into a fam of three. But until we do, I love my husband and our family together, it is sweet, sweet, sweet.  It's not the kind of sweetness that the flesh can create. It's the kind of sweetness that can only be created by God's own hand. There is nothing corrupt about it. There is nothing to fear about it. It is giving and it is loving. It is safe and it is pure. Only God can create such untainted goodness in this world. And Kevin and I have that in our marriage. This is by far one of the best blessings God can give to us. He is my very best friend and I cherish him for exactly who he is. Our relationship is real, it is deep, we can express raw emotions, and we share an understanding and love that I share with no one else. Yes, he is my husband, so that's kinda the point, but you know what I mean. :)

Okay, if I go any further my husband's head will surely pop--I know it's already on the verge after reading this far. :) So now I offer him some humility...as individuals or as a couple, we are far from perfect, we have plenty that make us imperfect, but we're always working to be better. We do, unfortunately, have to go through this life with an ugly sin nature welling inside of us, so it's kinda expected. But that only makes what Kevin and I have together even more special. It's easy to take the road of the culture, it's difficult to take the "God road", especially when it comes to marriage and struggle within marriage. Our culture wages war on marriage! I am so so so thankful we both make our relationship with Christ and one another top priority. It's the only way to navigate this culture.

So to the point of this post---I am truly cherishing these last days without a little one. Oh man, our time together has been so difficult on many fronts, yet so incredibly beautiful at the same time. I will never ever forget the Kristen and Kevin without bambinos. God's work within us has been priceless. Our time together as a twosome has grown us individually as well as a twosome, which undoubtedly has prepared us to be pretty incredible parents. Yes, I'm claiming that. I know we're pretty much going to rock. God is good.

Can you tell the estrogen is certainly surging! :)

Come On, Baby!

Today I'm 39 weeks and 2 days. As I have mentioned before, I might as well be three weeks over due. I am so eager to get this show on the road and meet the Bean!

In an effort to possibly help things along, last weekend I worked hard around the house and in the yard and garage. This weekend, looots of walking! My husband has become the 'walking nazi'. Dang, I know the baby is small, but that doesn't mean it's not tiring to lug it around for miles.

Last night we went out for dinner at our local town center and then walked and walked from store to store afterwards. It was a really nice evening and lots of people were out and about. It turned out to be a pretty great evening.  Towards the end when I was feeling the pains of walking so much, Kevin would say to me, " Come on, babe, you just gotta push through." Geez. Also keep in mind I'm doing this all after a big dinner and while wearing some cute patton leather wedges. And, of course, we can't forget I'm 9 months pregnant. Kevin, I'm going to remember your little "push through" comment, honey. I'll be sure to reciprocate it at the perfect time in the future for ya.

Today it was off to a large outdoor flea market/carnival-y type place: Trader's Village.  We haven't been to this place in years, but the weather is amazing this weekend and since I'm being forced to walk, we figured this place would offer plenty of exercise and some good people watching.

It turned out to be a pretty nice little outing. We sure did walk and walk and walk. I got some sun on my pasty arms, I enjoyed a FABULOUS Pepsi fountain drink with amazing crushed ice, a corn dog, a turkey leg, a funnel cake, and an ice cream cone. Nice! In my defense, all of this was split with Kevin. :)

Of course we also enjoyed some super fun people watching. People are so interesting to me. Truly. And the cherry on top: Kevin and I each picked up totally random, odd purchases that we would have otherwise never bought. Well, I surely would have never bought what I bought had it not been on a whim for a good deal at a flea market.

So what were those lovely purchases you wonder? Well, Kevin decided we needed a very large umbrella. But not just any umbrella. A large umbrella with a curved handle, not a straight one, and it had to have a metal tip at the top, not a wooden one, AND, it had to be in a particular color shade. So we walked and walked trying to isolate this umbrella. He eventually settled on one. Actually it was one of the first ones we saw but passed on originally. And wouldn't you know it was located waay far away from the center of the park. So more walking.  :)

And for me, what was my cool find? Hahaha..you're going to love this. I am now the proud new owner of 45 incense, in different aromas, and a cute wooden box to enclose my burning incense and to store the rest of my incense. I feel a little hippy-ish about this purchase, but in the moment, I was really excited about my new acquisition. We'll see how often these get burned. :)

The rest of the weekend will hold church, of course, and some random errands, but other than that we are taking it easy and seeing if any of this walking does anything to entice the Bean out.

But even if the babe decides not to join us sooner rather than later, I'm thoroughly enjoying all of this sweet time with the hubs. It will def be a little bitter sweet when it's no longer our little family of two. It sure has been such a sweet, sweet time together for the last 5 and a half years.

One Week to go! 39 Weeks!

So here I am at 39 weeks. I think I look a little bigger actually.

March 23, 2012
39 Weeks
Today I'm weighing in at 132#
Total weight gain of 20 pounds
For the most part, I'm feeling awesome. I get a little more tired when I walk a lot, I notice my socks do leave lines on my ankles, and I'm still prone to having shooting pains in my cervix and through my whoo ha, but other than that, things are wonderful! I do whatever I want.  Am I really 39 weeks pregnant?!

More Baby News: 38.6 Weeks

Today I went back to the good ol' doc. Since I do this literally every week and I'm completely out of ways to spruce up these posts, I'll just cut to the chase and spill the info.

Here's what's going on with the Bean:

He/she is measuring about 37.1 weeks on average all the way around, so about a week and a half behind. But this is normal for the Bean.

Is in the 46th percentile on weight

Weighs approximately 6.13 ounces with a margin of error of a pound in either direction. Meaning, per the sono, the baby could weigh roughly 6-8 pounds. I KNOW this baby does not weight 8 pounds, though.  This means that in two weeks the baby has gained almost a pound, 14 ounces. This is really great weight gain. This means we can probably expect a 6 1/2-7 pound baby in my opinion.

The Bean is still in the same head down position and wrapped around my left side

The Bean is still facing up and a little to my left side. I was hoping he/she had rotated into the face down position by now. ( But when I asked my OB about this, she said this is totally not a worry as they only do this once labor begins)

The HR and fluid levels were both totally normal, although I did not get the exact numbers

The sono tech noted that even from the previous week the baby has dropped even lower into my pelvis. She was really having to dig low to get good pictures of the baby's head. He/she is literally sitting pressed against my cervix and bladder. This explains a lot.

The Bean was on the move again and passed his/her BPP test with flying colors. A very active baby.

The one very concerning thing is the Bean's femur length...still. Two weeks ago, when I was 36.5 weeks the femur was measuring 33.5 weeks---3 weeks behind, and today, at 38.5 weeks the femur is measuring 33.5 weeks again, so now 5 weeks behind and with no growth seen on sono in the last two weeks!  It was first brought to my attention in my 34th week by the perinatologist, when it was 3 weeks behind at that time as well. The femur measured right on track at my 20 week scan, but according to the sono tech as she looked back through all of the baby's growth scans, the femur has been behind almost every time in the second half of the pregnancy. They deemed it as "normal" so never mentioned it to me. The doc also said they typically only like to do growth measurements no less than 3 weeks apart as they can show inaccuracies if done too closely together, and this one was done only two weeks apart. The sono tech offered to do growth for me today because I may not have any further sonos from here on out. But either way, I'm full term, and the femur is not, and it should be, or at least decently close. At this point it's just fat that is being added, there isn't any bone growth that needs to be complete. So the concern is still valid.

Hmm.....Not loving this news. The doc said she is not worried about Uterine Growth Restriction because you typically see other measurements that are also small, not just one, especially the abdomen, and the baby tends to be in the 10th percentile or less when this occurs. The Bean has never been lower than the 36th percentile.

The said she is more inclined to think it's just genetics because of mine and Kevin's size and due to the fact that there are no other measurements that are off----it's just the femurs, which is odd.  She does not want to send me back to the specialist and is just chalking it up to a short kid. I don't love that, I want facts.  There is also a possibility of a non-lethal form of dwarfism with these type of measurements. Holy Cow--what!! This typically looks like someone who is otherwise normal, but has short limbs and doesn't exceed five feet tall. This would be caused by a genetic abnormality affecting the proteins needed for proper bone and cartilage development. But the only true way to know at this point is to deliver the baby, do a visual inspection and then do a few tests.

My OB told me that the further along one gets the more inaccurate sonos are and she is reassured by the fact that this baby has been looked at on sono hundreds of time and by specialists and nothing had ever jumped out at any one. This may make her feel okay from an objective standpoint, but to a mom, and a mom like me, this really doesn't give me a whole lot of piece of mind. At all.

So I'm kinda freaking out. But I know worry will do me no good. It won't change anything and I just have to wait it out. So I'm praying about it and hoping that when it's all said and done the baby comes out looking perfectly normal and I can chalk it all up to screwy sono measurements.

As for my stats:

I weighed in at 134#. This is up one pound from last week. So I'm up about 22 pounds total.

I am still 1 cm dilated but now 90% effaced and "very short", less than .5 cm in length. My cervix is soft and "favorable" according to my OB. She also said "wow, this baby's head is super low. It's like right here. Just on the other side of your very thin cervix."

She said she's ready whenever I am! She said it could be any day or another two weeks, there is just no way to know. Her only suggestion to help move things along: lots of sex. Thank goodness the hubs digs my pregnant body. :)

She said if I make it to my appointment next week then she will give me the option of inducing after that if I want. But I don't think I want to. I really, really want to wait on Mother Nature and not use extreme forces to get the Bean out until they are ready.

She also said she will not let me go past 42 weeks as the rate for still born births goes through the roof as the placenta naturally starts to degrade after this time, and " because of those short femurs I don't want to wait any longer than 42 weeks to deliver you. " I deduced that she certainly does not want to leave a baby with a potential defect in the womb when there is a risk the placenta might stop working so great because it is known that babies with defects are a little more fragile than "normal" babies. So this leads me to believe she must have some concern over the short femur measurement. This def adds to my concern.

So there's the update. I woke up with nausea and having cramps, but all has subsided and I feel great other than this raging gall bladder that feels like it's on fire! So we wait.

One Impatient Mamma: 38.5 Weeks

Ten days until DD. But I'm not counting. ..Hahaha..yea, right. I know I'm not even a full 40 weeks, but I feel like I'm three weeks over due! How in the world do mammas deal with the anticipation?!

I think I may just be reading into every little thing too much, but I did notice a small amount of bright red spotting this morning. I have no pain and still feel pretty much normal and great. My Braxton Hicks are still intermittent and not at all painful, just really, really tight contractions and I am having more of them.  The baby is still very low. I can feel head movements way beneath my belly. The baby is about 4 inches from walking itself out. I also have to pee at least every 2 hours even when I'm not drinking any fluids. So I'm up many, many times every single night. Typically every two hours on the dot.

The baby is also apparently playing a head butting game on my cervix. I can actually feel the baby slam it's sweet head on my cervix which then causes shooting "lightening rod" pains to shoot through my whoo ha. They are actually kinda painful and totally catch me off guard causing me to jump.

The down side to all of this, still no real contractions or even cramping to speak of! I can't wait to go see my doc tomorrow so I can get an update. I am dying to know if there has been any change in there.

I'll be back tomorrow with an update!

Lets Get the Show on the Road

In an effort to 'prime' my body and get things moving along I've intentionally had an active day today.

I've done housework
I worked in the yard with Kevin. We pulled weeds, racked and bagged yard clippings, and cleaned out the flower beds.
I organized some in the garage
I've eaten spicy food
We took the dogs on a long walk
And I certainly can't forget gettin' it on

I wonder if any of this will get things moving in the 'labor and delivery' direction..So far all I have felt are some sharp " lightening rod" type pains through my cervix and down through my whoo ha and I was also noticing a lot more Braxton Hicks contractions when we were walking the dogs.


Hmm...there are some other things I will also be trying. But nothing crazy or extreme, of course. I totally respect Mother Nature and I know her timing is best. It's just kinda fun to think that just maybe some of these things may help move along a process that's already in the works.

38 Weeks! Two Weeks to Go!

So here I am with two weeks to go!

38 Weeks
March 16, 2012
131#
Total weight gain of 19 pounds

I can't believe I only have two weeks to go. I feel great other than starting a few days ago my gall bladder is back to being very angry. It doesn't matter what I eat, actually I don't have to eat anything to set it off. It hurt, hurt, hurts right under my right rib cage, my sternum and under my  right shoulder blade--in the exact spots it was hurting before. I think this time around it's because my gall bladder is receiving some serious physical pressure from the baby, as I can feel the baby literally sitting directly on top of it. Push through, Kristen--two weeks to go. Other than that--I'm awesome. Well, I say that, I don't sleep well at all. But it's not because I can't get comfortable or anything like that. It just feels like straight good ol' insomnia. My brain just won't stop going. I have noticed I have been having a lot of 'baby anxiety thoughts' as I'm trying to fall asleep.

I'M VERY ANSY AND CAN'T WAIT TO GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD. CAN BARELY CONTAIN MY EXCITEMENT ABOUT MEETING THE BEAN!

Random Thoughts of a Pregnant Lady Waiting on D Day

Okay, two things:

1. My latest obsession is making sure the inside of the dishwasher stays nice and clean. I have no idea why. I think I have ever only given thought to the inside of our dishwasher being dirty one other time in the last five years. And the last time this happened it was only because something inside the dishwasher caught my eye prompting me to clean it. But beyond that, it's typically not on my radar. But as of late, it is. Every time I load and unload the dishwasher I must make sure all is still sparkling white. I even check the seals around the edge of the dishwasher. I know, I know...please hold all of your snickers until I have left the room. Maybe this is just some weird control freak/nesting craziness going. I'm certainly hoping that it's fleeting. Even I think its odd. And it's even more odd that I proudly announce to Kevin that I've just cleaned it. This is the response I get from Kevin, " Oh yea, you cleaned it again, huh. Didn't you just clean it? Is it dirty already?" He says all of this calmly as if we are talking about the weather, but obviously there is a hint of mockery laced within those words of his. But I don't blame him. It concerns me too. But the most concerning part, it doesn't completely shock my husband that I would do this. This certainly can't mean good things. I think this means I'm surely a weirdo. :)

2. I'm not one to air any preludes about all that is money or our finances. To me, finances are private. Kevin and I talk very openly about all things money very regularly--and both contribute to our spending/savings plan and all future endevours 50/50. My husband is an Excel wizard, so you can only imagine. It's spreadsheets galore!  But it's not my style to make all of this public knowledge. BUT, I would like to know if any of you have found a money tree that takes root and produces fruit almost immediately? We have tried several varieties without much luck.

Don't get me wrong: Kevin and I take great pride in spending the income we have been given as wisely and thoughtfully as possible and have always made sure to first give back our full tithe to God and SAVE --and this plan has worked. All of our needs have always been met. But that doesn't mean we don't have to get creative and have some heart-to-hearts about what's important and where our money should be spent.

I shop consignment sales and buy at resale shops--which I love! And we are believers in the Dave Ramsey system. We have had all of our budgets figured out and tweaked for a while now and we seem to be in a good rhythm. We have also been using a cash envelope system for as many budget categories as possible for about two years now..and we really believe it has helped to place us in a more sound financial position. I recommend everyone do this with at least their 'entertainment/going-out on the weekend spending/budget'. It's just so easy to swipe, swipe, swipe that ol' card and you don't realize how the charges really add up and take a huge bite out of the bank account.  We certainly don't have rainbows and unicorns floating around in our house. It's real life with hard decisions, just like with most people. But I think we do have a good, sound system in place after a lot of back and forth, compromise, trial and error, and tweaking.

As many know, we have saved, spent, saved, spent and spent some more in order to meet our Bean. And this was our choice, and we own that choice.  But the expenses didn't just end after the IVF was paid for. Yea, because it worked: we're pregnant!  On a side note, our medical insurance is literally doubling to add the little one to our policy. Nice. And of course, once we add the little one our deductible will also increase which means more expenses. But this is the life of every parent.  However, we were abundantly blessed by so many incredible people at our baby shower. We were gifted with so many items for the baby. This ultimately means that we didn't have to buy these items. This absolutely with out a doubt was an incredible blessing to us.  See, God always has a way.  But it sure does seem at every turn there is a cost waiting to get ya. Hence the request for suggestions on the type of money tree you think we should look into! :)

Pregnancy Vice

Now that this pregnancy is winding down, I can safely say the one thing throughout the entire pregnancy that I could never get enough of was CHOCOLATE! Chocolate anything. Cake, icing, dark chocolate candy pieces, candy bars, ice cream, chocolate covered pretzels...you name it, I wanted it in chocolate. I actually have eaten dark chocolate every day of the pregnancy.

The chocolate cravings could also be linked to me wanting sugar. But almost every time when given the choice between two types of candy, I always go with the chocolate option. Although sour and tart things are a very close second. Sour patch kids are my definite number two.

 It is soo bad that I have not only craved but indulged in my sweet tooth so much during pregnancy, but the cravings are seriously strong. I kinda feel like and addict. As soon as I buy a candy bar in the store I can barely wait to get to the car so I can chow down. If it wasn't poor manners, I would probably just walk around stores and eat their chocolate candy bars while I shop and then pay for empty wrappers as I checked out. But, I don't do this...often, although I have done this before...hehehe...instead I practically run to the car so I can begin stuffing my face with all that chocolate goodness. I know, it's a sick image. I feel like I should be on a day time talk show discussing my illness. :)

Everyone I tell this to says it's for sure a girl. But who knows. I've always had a sweet tooth anyway, it's just really amplified during this pregnancy. Our poor Bean is destined to be a chocolate lover, for sure, though. Either that, or he/she is sick of it and will hate it!

Almost 38 weeks! OB follow Up Today

I went in for my weekly doc appointment today. We again started with the baby's photo shoot. The babe did awesome on their biophysical profile test again. He/she is still head down and engaged and is practicing breathing like a champ. He/she was again moving up a storm and we caught the sweet thing smiling, yawing, swallowing, and opening and shutting their eyes all while moving their sweet little hands all across their face. She also specifically checked the placenta and all is still functioning perfectly. The baby had a HR of about 140. Oh and my amniotic fluid level was again great--although I forgot to ask what it was. I was too enthralled with watching The Bean on screen. Perfect report card for the Babe!

As for my exam, I weighed in at 132# today, but I've been fluctuating between 130-132 for the last week. This is a total gain of 18-20 pounds. My fundal height is measuring at 35 weeks--so roughly three weeks behind the average preggo.  No surprise there. We all know I look small. Again, she said this was a combination of a small baby and the fact that his/her head is low in my pelvis.

I am also 1 cm dilated today and 80% effaced. In the last week I went from being a fingertip dilated and 50% effaced to 1cm dilated and 80% effaced.  This is not a whole lot of change in one week, nor is this enough change to mean that labor is certainly imminent in the next few days, but it does mean that there is some change. So things are happening as they should. This means that my cervix is shortening and is currently hanging on at about 1cm or less. As soon as she started feeling around in there on my vaginal exam that was the first thing she said, " Wow, you are really thinned out." Typically with first time mom's there is often a textbook trend of fully effacing before moving onto major dilation. But I guess we all know I'm not textbook. :)

She said that everyone woman is different in terms of how quickly they progress when at my same stage, but she does not see me being a typical first time mom and going over my due date. She thinks at the latest I'll naturally go into labor right at my due date if not before--and that's two weeks away. She knows I have all of my weekly appointments already prescheduled out through 40 weeks and the last thing she said to me was, " Well, I guess we will just have to see if we get to see you back next  week for your appointment." So she is pretty open to labor spontaneously happening at any point from here on out given how short my cervix is. She went over what I should be looking for as far as my water breaking and labor and when I will need to head to the hospital.

We shall she. I feel great and really have no signs of impending labor. But I also know it can some on rather quickly, so it truly is a wait and see game. But my prayer is for nothing to happen until next Monday when my doc is back in town! I have done too much work on my doc for her not to be the one to deliver our baby. I've had to see her a zallion times in the last 8 months and she knows my personality and what my wishes are as far as delivery, and I know she won't disregard any of my requests. I don't want to have to reexplain and go through all of it again but with a new doc all while I'm in the middle of labor. So if you are so inclined, please pray this over us. We would really appreciate it.

I would also like to ask that there are continued prayers over my delivery. Of course, I'm nervous and trying to hold back being a little emotional when I think about it. Not only is it a scary unknown, but it's also the act of becoming a Mom in a matter of minutes. You're pregnant, then you're in the crazy transition phase of labor, then the baby is out and in your arms...seems so fast relatively speaking! And for me, I'll also be bringing a few extra suitcases of baggage with me to delivery. You know, the baggage that's labeled, ' Wasn't sure I'd ever become a Mom and now we're about to go LIVE and I have too many emotions to count.' So that baggage will be sitting in the corner of the room starring me down, I'm sure.  But I serve a faithful God who I know who will strengthen me and who will give me everything I need in those moments to pull me through gracefully. Hopefully gracefully. :) We will let Kevin be the judge of that after it's all said and done.

Here are some pictures from the baby's photo shoot today:

What is your guess...boy or girl?

 I totally think this looks like Kevin.

I'm thinking I see some chubby cheeks!

Things are Picking Up at 37.5 wks

Since going off of the Procardia 5 or 6 days ago, for the most part, I've been feeling excellent. So much so that I question whether I'm truly nine months pregnant. I feel like I could go on like this forever. I mean, I love being pregnant anyway, so to feel so amazing is just a cherry on top. I am very grateful as a lot of women hate me for feeling this good in my ninth month. But I also think it may have something to do with my minimal weight gain. It seems logical that one would feel much more exhausted carrying around 50 pounds of extra weight rather than 20.  But I think I've earned the right to feel this amazing. :)

I did not have an immediate increase in Braxton Hicks contractions ( or real contractions, for that matter) after coming off the Procardia. However, for the last couple of days, I have been having a lot of Braxton Hicks. No pain, I just notice a lot of non-painful tightening and "balling up" of my uterus, as some women describe it. Also for the last few days I've had a new pain at the bottom of my uterus on both my right and left sides..possible round ligaments??  Nothing horrible, just different. I know that in the final weeks the ligaments that hold the uterus in place are really feeling the weight load, the pelvic bones are separating, and the baby is pushing further down into the pelvis, so one of these is the likely cause of these new pains. I think they are great. They remind me I'll be getting to meet our Bean soon!

Speaking of meeting the Bean soon---this weekend as we were coming home from some outing Kevin randomly says, " Can you just stop hoggin' my little baby. I'd really like to play with them now." I reminded him there probably won't be too much playing going on for a bit. It will be more like we give, and give, and give, and give some more until the baby is a little older. :) Just between me and you, I love hoggin' the baby and having him/her with me all the time. I love this time that I don't have to share. It's all Mamma time. :)

This morning I woke up with what feels exactly like period cramps. They are more prominent when I'm up and doing stuff, too. No back pain or real contractions though. Otherwise, I still feel great with no other 'symptoms' of anything.  Since I've never gone into labor, I'm just assuming it's one of the body's small steps to get things prepared for the big day. Oh, and no more swelling anywhere since going off the Procardia. I knew it was that dang drug. I drink way too much water to be retaining that much fluid in my legs. Glad that part is done with. I really do feel bad for women who suffer with severe swelling. I had minimal swelling compared to a lot of women, but it was still uncomfortable and annoying. I can't imagine having it severely.

I have also noticed the baby is actually pretty active lately. Maybe it's just that he/she is running out of room so even his/her smallest movements feel like big ones to me, but I feel like the baby  is pushing up their butt or pushing out a leg a lot more lately. But I like that too. It's another reminder of what I will be meeting very soon!

I have nooo idea if this is the start of anything. I know even if it is, it could still be weeks before the big day, so I'm not holding my breath. On that note, we don't want the baby here until at least Monday anyway. That is when my doc will be back in town and my mom will no longer have all the grandkids at her house for Spring Break 5 hours away. And I really, really want the babe to cook as long as possible. I know every single day really does help. But I also know if we delivered today, our babe would likely do awesome and only have a few very small hiccups as far as their health, if any.

I'll keep ya posted.

A New Beginning

As I was laying around all weekend, I had plenty of time to go off on random thought tangents. And one of them I found rather compelling.

We are now in March. It was in March of last year that I was dealing with heart wrenching devastation. And it was this same month last year that would mark the beginning of a loooong, grueling, painful, and beautiful year. So March 2012 marks both an end and a new beginning for me as a woman and for us as a couple.

In the last 12 months my body, heart, and mind have been through hell. Of course 9 months of this year I have been pregnant, so I'm certainly not saying there has been no good in the last 12 months, but I've definitely had to fight every step of the way it feels.

Last February, 2011, we did an IUI (intrauterine insemination) cycle using injectable drugs with an RE. I responded nicely to the medications, I had three follicles. Kevin's semen analysis was again rock star quality (He loves to tell people this), so we were feeling pretty optimistic about getting pregnant. Nervous, but optimistic. The day of the insemination, after it was complete, I remember laying on the table for my mandatory 15 minutes in the docs office praying non stop. Praying over what was hopefully taking place inside my body at that very moment and for what would need to happen during the next 48 hours.

It was in March 2011 that we got the call that I had a positive beta. We were pregnant! Whooo hoooo! My first pregnancy, our first pregnancy. God must have been honoring my prayers. But the excitement was short lived as I was told my beta was only in the 20's--very low. Too low. This meant it was probably not a healthy pregnancy. I was crushed. But we still clung to hope and rejoiced with excitement. I remember telling myself that no matter the outcome of the pregnancy, this baby and life deserved to be honored for all of its days. So I prayed over our sweet baby, I made sure to eat a 'pregnancy diet', I dreamed about holding and loving our baby, and I was excited about the life growing inside of me. Our baby deserved this from its Mamma. So I cautiously laid out my heart for our baby.

And so it began for us. I had just started a brand new job that I was super excited about and now I was facing a huge potential loss and having to drive to my docs office every 48 hours for blood draws so they could monitor my beta (hcg) levels, which would give us all a better indication of the health of the pregnancy. The waiting for results every 48 hours was truly agonizing. I was a wreck. I dreaded yet begged for the phone to ring, hoping it was my docs office. But I also hoped it was good, miracle news. I knew the stats were against us though.

I eventually started having terrible pains and also began spotting. So it was confirmed, this was definitely not going to be our take home baby. I was in the docs office every other day, either giving blood or getting sonograms. The pain and bleeding continued. I went in for a sonogram at 6 weeks and 4 days pregnant, about the earliest they can see a heart beat in the uterus. There was nothing in the uterus. Not just no heart beat, but no gestational sac. The internal sonogram was extremely painful, which was not normal. The reason: the doc discovered I was pooling a lot of blood into my abdomen and behind my uterus. Nothing could be visualized inside my fallopian tubes, but given all other evidence, it was concluded I had a right sided ectopic pregnancy in my fallopian tube. My betas were very high at this point, the poor embryo was trying to grow and survive, but was just in the wrong location of my body.

There is no way to save an ectopic pregnancy and, of course, as many people know, if an ectopic pregnancy ruptures a fallopian tube it can be life threatening for the Mom and requires immediate surgery. The only way to avoid this is to get Methotrexate injections to terminate the pregnancy. This is a drug used in chemotherapy treatments as it blocks folic acid, which is what all rapidly dividing cells require to keep replicating and dividing, whether that be a cancer or an embryo. So by blocking folic acid, the pregnancy cannot progress. After having Methotrexate in the body, due to its caustic and deadly effects on an embryo/future pregnancies, it was mandated that I wait 12 weeks before proceeding with anymore fertility treatments. My RE wanted to make sure the drug was completely out of my system before there was a chance I could be pregnant again. Uhg. I haaaated hearing I would have to wait 12 weeks! This seems like an eternity to an infertile.

However, this was essentially our only option, but, man, it was heart breaking to sign consent for these injections.  Even though I knew the baby I was carrying would never have the opportunity to lay in my arms, the mere thought of destroying it and having it permanently removed from my body was brutal. I will never forget that day. I was a wreck. I don't even think I can describe the ache in my heart. It came from a very unique place, a very unique place as a woman.

So I got too big ol' shots in my hips and we then waited. Waited for the drugs to stop the development of the embryo. This would be confirmed by continuing with getting my betas checked every 48 hours until it reached zero. The process of making sure the pregnancy was completely dissolved and would no longer pose a health threat to me would end up taking a full 6 weeks after I received the injections. This meant that for six weeks I had to go into my fertility clinic, give blood, wait on phone calls with sad news all to confirm that our first baby was essentially being dissolved as planned. It was a sad, sad time. I think I spiraled emotionally.

Not only was the emotional toll enormous for me, but I bled for 6 weeks straight, which was a constant reminder, and I was in pain from all the swelling and bleeding from the damage done to my fallopian tube. I am soo glad this experience has passed.

After my doc finally got my hormones back on track with hormonal supplementation, the bleeding finally stopped. And finally after about 6 weeks my betas were at zero. This meant I was officially done with the pregnancy as far as the embryonic cells went. But the emotional scar would be permanent.  It was at this point I discussed with my doc the damage to my right fallopian tube and the risk of this happening again in the same tube now that it was certainly grossly malformed from all the trauma. My doc agreed that this tube would certainly be a liability for me as we continued to try and conceive and told me it would not be a bad idea to have my right fallopian tube removed, as it would probably never be able to function normally again.

So it was after the bleeding stopped, all the pain was gone, the pregnancy was confirmed no longer, and after my cycle returned to normal on its own that we decided to proceed with surgery to remove my fallopian tube. I believe this was at the end of April or early May 2011. The doc and I made a deal that once he was able to view my fallopian tube and assess the damage once in surgery, he would only remove the tube if was deemed to look abnormal. What he found was grossly abnormal and severely damaged. I had an exploratory surgery 6 months prior to look for any internal abnormalities that were maybe preventing us from getting pregnant, so I have pictures from surgery of this same fallopian tube pre and post the ectopic pregnancy. It looked perfectly normal prior and mangled afterwards. He also found large amounts of scar tissue and adhesions that had formed inside my pelvic cul-de-sac and around my fallopian tubes and uterus from all the bleeding and trauma that had ensued. So the doc removed the right fallopian tube and cleaned up as much of the internal scarring as he could, as these adhesions and scarring can certainly interfere with me ever getting pregnant on my own in the future. Although we know it's a long shot anyway. But, of course, it's my prayer that we will one day get pregnant naturally on our own.

The day I came home from surgery after knowing I had just really lost a part of my fertility was another very hard blow for me. A piece of my reproductive system was actually gone. This made me feel even more like a failure as a women who already couldn't get pregnant. And with the loss of my right fallopian tube, it was now even more unlikely I would ever fulfill this deep desire in my heart on my own.  So I continued to not be so great emotionally. But my physical healing was pretty much uneventful. I think in all of my sadness and due to the fact that I felt like we were losing time in the getting pregnant saga we were living in, I felt rushed. Rushed to get back to the drawing board with my RE and get a new plan together. I was ready to start a new cycle. He wouldn't allow me to return to anymore treatment cycles until I came in for my post op, until I had another normal cycle on my own after my surgery, and until the 12 weeks was up. I know it all seemed to have happened so quickly, it does even to me as I type it, but in moments of grief, trauma and desperation, time stands still.

It was after I healed from surgery that we moved forward with our first IVF cycle. We were a year of medicated cycles in at this point, and after our recent traumatic set back, we were ready to move forward full force, with the big guns. So I started an IVF cycle in June of 2011. Looking back, geez, my poor body got no break! Because we all know IVF cycles are tough on the body and aren't a picnic.  For heavens sake, my body has been put through the ringer this past 12 months...and I have still birth to go!

The  IVF cycle lasted for 6 weeks. I won't even go into all the exact details of an IVF cycle, but it's riddled with doc appointments, tons of blood work, sonograms, tons and tons and tons of drugs, painful injections, anesthesia, a surgical procedure, an insemination, a boat load of cash, and more waiting and emotions than I care to remember.

But, it was in July 2011 that we learned all had paid off, we were pregnant with a healthy pregnancy that had great beta numbers. A lot of the drugs and medications continued, as did the sonograms, but I was eventually released to my regular OB for all follow up care. Yea!!!

As most of you know, given my history of a possible incompetent cervix, I was followed very closely from the very beginning of this pregnancy by my OB. I had doc visits and sonograms every two weeks, then every week for the duration of the pregnancy. I've gone into preterm labor three times and have been hospitalized each time, I was on bed rest for 8 weeks, I had issues with my right kidney, had kidney stones, gallbladder issues, and got very, very sick at one point, and more medications made their way into my body. So there was about an 8 week time frame of pure crappiness. Again, my poor, poor body. It needs a break!

But we've almost completed the circle. Here we are in March 2012, and we are about to meet our sweet baby: in the same month we lost our first baby one year ago. It has been a whirlwind of a year. It has been a year that I would loooove to forget for soo many reasons, yet a year that has brought immense healing and happiness to my heart. God has done amazing, and I mean amazing, things to mine and Kevin's hearts in this past 12 months. Kevin and I solidified our team mentality this past year, for sure. There were so many deeply personal things that took place over this last year that we could only really share with each other. So we leaned on one another along with God as our sole support to get us through---and here we are, more connected than ever and so filled with joy.

God has pulled us through an extremely difficult season. We have weathered it together with true grace and beauty. I can't imagine having to be so vulnerable with anyone else or having anyone other than Kevin have to watch me dig so deep into my spirit in order to get through this past year. There was a time when I was diggin' deep, looking for something within me to pull me through, and it felt like I had hit bed rock and I had nothing left in me to pull from. And I know it sure wasn't a pretty sight to see. It's been a truly defining time for each of us.

But now, the most beautiful part of the long 12 month wait---we get to meet our sweet baby. Our sweet baby that we have literally WORKED for! I have cried and cried and cried for this baby. I have been absolutely devastated for this baby. I have literally screamed out in pain for this baby. I have begged endlessly for this baby. I have prayed relentlessly for this baby. I have screamed and yelled at God over not giving me this baby a whole lot sooner. I have driven hundreds of miles all over the metroplex to different doctor appointments for this baby. I have been stuck with needles hundreds of times for this baby. I have had three surgeries for this baby and will probably have another to remove my gallbladder after I deliver. I have been poked and prodded endlessly for this baby. I have lost more sleep than I care to remember for this baby. I have pushed my body to its limits for this baby. We have made substantial financial sacrifice for this baby. I have lost muscle mass for this baby, for heavens sake!  I had to quit my job for this baby. I have gone months without being sexually intimate with my husband for this baby. And the list goes on and on. I have sacrificed for this baby. But through this,  an appreciation I cannot describe has grown for God, Kevin, myself and our baby. There are a lot of take-aways from this experience, but one of them is this: God, Kevin and myself are pretty dang awesome! Kevin and I are strong, we are defined by God-centered character, and we are gracious and thankful. And God, he will fill your cup, it's just that we often don't let him...even when we think we're being open to his guidance, we usually aren't. So if you can learn yourself well enough within the spectrum of your relationship with God and be able to discern when your own spirit is interfering with you receiving God's goodness and will for your life, you will find so much success. I certainly still don't do this well, but I do know how to do it, and having experience it is life changing.

If God has been trying to grow a sacrificial mother's heart in me, I think He can safely say the job is complete now.

The past 12 months have been so bitter sweet, but I really wouldn't trade any of it. I love new beginnings.

Final Preparations

So I think we have pretty much everything in place for the babe. We have sorted everything, organized all the chaos that is baby, and we have some of the big items in place in the house/car. Having the bassinet and swing in place is really more for our dogs. This way they have plenty of time to adjust to baby things in the house. It feels good to be ready and waiting. Would you expect anything else from me and Kevin. We're like perpetual planners gone wild!

Now we're getting to do the really fun stuff, like make sure we hit up our favorite places to eat and go out to the movies before the baby arrives. We know these outings will be forever changed once the baby is here, if not impossible entirely for a while. We don't live super close to any babysitters, so our twosome will definitely be a full time threesome very soon. Plus, I have nooo idea when I will be ready to part with the Bean and take someone up on a babysitting offer, to be honest. But, who knows, maybe I will be so worn out by being on call 24/7 it may be a welcome break to let someone else watch the bean for a bit.

So we're making a conscious effort to enjoy these last few weeks of couplehood freedom, because the way we live our lives now will never be again. No need to rush its passing.  Because I'm sure we will have times in the future when we really, really miss what we have right now. So, yes, we're anxiously waiting on our baby, but at the same time, we're trying to focus on the positives of having a few more weeks to go and we're working on making sure each day is filled intentionally.

Here are some pics of our final preparations.

Hospital stuff is ready to go!

Do you see this full baby closet!

Baby swing in place. We decided to give the Mamaroo a try because of its small footprint. We just simply don't have the room for a normal baby swing in our living room! Seriously! I'm shocked at how wide the bases are of traditional baby swings.

Bassinet in the bedroom on my side of the bed is ready to go, too. Just waitin' on the sweet little one to be sleeping beside me.

The carseat is in the car and also just waitin on the little one.

Until all the fun begins, I'm feeling awesome physically--I think I should really stop complaining about being this small while 9 months pregnant, it has its perks apparently, my heartburn and leg/ankle swelling is non existent since stopping the Procardia, and I have nothing left to do but relax and enjoy the next few weeks. So that's the plan.

Oh Kevin...

So here is my way excited husband. I think I'll just let the pictures do all the talking.

Yes..Kevin is carrying Eli around in the baby carrier. And Eli was more than happy to oblige this eager soon-to-be-dad. I could not miss this photo op. Oh my...

37 Weeks!

So now that we are working through our 38th week, we are term and ready to go. Although I want this little one to stay in there and cook as long as possible...I think. :)

Here is my week 37 pic

March 9, 2012
130#
Total weight gain of 18 pounds
Three weeks to go!

All Complete

With the exception of taking one of our fur kids to the doc tomorrow, all of my to-do's are all complete. Yes! And I'm officially off of the Procardia. Please pray there is nothing seriously wrong with my Julian. Poor little dude. He is our old man of the bunch.

This week I have ran about a bazillion errands, handled a ridiculous amount of home/admin stuff, spent far too much time on the phone making appointments or handling household business, washed a million loads of laundry, scrubbed far more things that any sane person should, (I actually scrubbed the inside of the dishwasher today. O.M.G., I know.  Don't judge me. I just had this overwhelming need to make sure it was sparkling clean), I have vacuumed baseboards, I have steam cleaned carpet, I have organized two too many closets, and the list goes on.

BUT, I think I may be done. Either way, I'm off my medications. That's the important thing. I am really, really happy to be off of the Procardia because for some reason I have been having a new symptom from taking it for the last couple of weeks. If I am not laying down when I take it, it now causes severe swelling and redness in my legs and feet at every dose. I haven't brought this up to my doc, but I assume it is because Procardia lowers one blood pressure, which is the primary function and purpose of this drug, and given the fact that I'm much farther along now and my body is having to work even harder to get blood/fluid from my feet back up to my heart, the lowering of my already low blood pressure from the Procardia dose is only further compounding this effect, thus causing marked edema in my legs and feet. That's my theory, anyway. But it's actually kinda uncomfortable, not just ugly to look at.

It feels soo good to be "ready" at least as far as a to-do list goes. Otherwise, I'm still on the fence. In one breath I'm ready for labor to be here now so we can meet our Bean, and on the other hand, it's a scary prospect still. I don't adjust to change well, and a big ol' change is coming. Although it's an exciting one!

Kevin on the other hand is ready, like, yesterday for the baby to be here and he has let that be known. He has asked me everyday this week to tell him exactly when I was going to stop taking the Procardia. He wanted me off of it pronto. He has put the car seat in the car and is now researching more about new age versions of cloth/biodegradable insert diapers like Bum Genius and G diapers. I'm not against going this route assuming it's not overly time consuming for me and it saves enough money to make it worth while, but like I told Kevin tonight---we can switch to cloth diapers at any time. It doesn't have to be immediate that we start using them. I have no idea how life for me is going to be as a new mom, and to start with, simple is better. So the jury is still out on this one. We are researching and learning more about all of the many option available when it comes to cloth diapers.  There are a tooon of options, believe it or not. And they all have different components and price tags. It's no longer just a cotton diaper and safety pins.

Anyways, life is good. We are ready and waiting. I have this feeling I may be waiting a while unless there is a rapid uptake in the number of contractions I'm having. ..We shall see..

Go Away

The heartburn is killing me the last few days. Uhg. I guess the baby/uterus is getting high enough that it is finally causing me to have heartburn issues..either that or soaring progesterone levels...and I don't love it much. Please go away heartburn. It sure is nasty when you're trying to lay down and sleep. But at least I can't have it for very much longer. And to my lovely kankles, you can go away too. I think I'm seriously getting spider veins around my ankles. No likey.  :)

Another Baby Update

We are 36.6 weeks today and I had my weekly OB sonogram and exam with my doc. We got a great  report today.

So here are the stats from today's sonogram:

The baby is estimated at 5.15 oz, so right at 6 pounds. Three weeks ago the baby weighed 4.15oz. So this means the baby is doing what it is supposed to be doing and is gaining weight appropriately. The Perinatologist said that the baby should be putting on 1/4 to 1/2 a pound per week. So this little one is right on track. Good job, baby! So if I go to 40 weeks, and if the baby stays on the same growth trend as the last three weeks, we should in theory have about a 7 pound baby. But keep in mind, this late in the game, estimated weights by sonogram have a 20% margin of error in either direction. So basically a 6-7 pound baby at delivery is probably what we will have. A little one. :)



The baby's HR was 135

The baby is still in the same position, with it's head low right on my cervix, with its spine to my right side, and with its butt still under my right rib cage. and knees and legs on my left side.

The baby is measuring 35.5 weeks, so a week behind, which puts the little one in the 38th percentile.

The baby's head is now only measuring a few days ahead, so I guess other parts of the body have caught up in the last three weeks.

The baby's abdomen is measuring a few days behind schedule

And now the femur is measuring more than 3 weeks behind! The doc and the sono tech said there is a margin of error on bone measurements of +/- 3 weeks. So she was totally unphased by this measurement, as was the sono tech. She said, again, 'everything about the baby still looks totally normal and given the size of you and your husband genetically this is just a small baby. '

My amniotic fluid level was again normal at 16 cm. Perfect.

The baby was mooooving up a storm while on camera. This is all great and exactly what they want to see. The Bean was seen breathing in amniotic fluid incredibly well today. As a matter of fact, so well that it was difficult for the sono tech to get the baby's heart rate because all of the breathing was interfering with the heart rate reading. But this, too, was great, as this is one of the things they have to witness in order for the baby to pass his/her biophysical profile 'test'. It was hilarious to watch the baby 'breath' in the fluid because he/she was opening their mouth really wide and you could see the tongue in full movement to guide the fluid in. It was hilarious to watch. It was literally gulping it down . He/she was very animated.

As for some things me and the doc talked about:

She did a vaginal exam to manually check my cervix today and I am only a fingertip dilated and 50% effaced, which she said are not very favorable conditions for delivery. So she doesn't expect I will deliver within the next week and a half unless I have an increase in contractions in that time. Good news because my doc is out of town all next week, as is my NNP friend, Cat, and my Mom will be locked down in Houston with all of the grandkids over Spring Break. So I def need to keep this one cooking through next week.

She also said the baby is engaged and dropped. He/she is sitting right on my cervix and is very low, and it has been for some time. She said this is why I may appear to carry small because the baby is not floating around high or with its entire body in the center or upper portion of my uterus. The head is very low making me carry small. Good to know. She then went on to say that my carrying small has nothing to do with any issue with the baby or me. All is well and healthy in there.

I weighed 130# today. This gives me about an 18# total weight gain to-date.

She also said she will consider inducing only between weeks 40 and 42. Or at 39 weeks if my cervix is in favorable condition for delivery. So basically, she likes to let babies cook and is in no rush to get them out or perform C-Sections. Me neither, so this makes me feel very comfortable that I won't be rushed into labor just because she has a dinner to go to. As excited as I am to meet this little one, I don't want to rush mother nature in the least. I want things to happen as they are supposed to happen. I can do anything for a few weeks. This is a walk in the park compared to how long we have waited to be here in this moment.


So a great report today. We're down to the final push! Lets see how long this baby wants to stay in there. Can't wait to meet our sweet baby! I don't know how in the world I'm going to let anyone hold him/her much less baby sit anytime soon. I will want this baby all to myself. I feel a selfish phase coming on. :)

Baby Shower

We had our baby shower this past weekend and it rocked!

It was an amazing weekend actually. My Mom and Aunt Karen were in from out of town for the shower, so it was such a blessing to be able to see them. There were so many people that worked so hard to make this moment incredible for us. I mean, seriously. We were truly gifted by some amazing hearts. They all did an outstanding job!

The shower was beautiful! There were gourmet cupcakes that were to-die-for in green and white with little 'peas in the pod' on top, amazing chicken salad croissants that were all the rage, fun games, great, creative table ideas, fresh flowers and natural greenery in place, and,  most importantly a ton of sweet friends and family. We had, I think, about 45 guests.  It was truly a classic event. Nothing cheesy about it.  Every detail was thoughtfully planned and executed. It was truly perfect. I have waited a long time to be the guest of honor at a baby shower. It was everything I had dreamed. Just perfect.

We were blessed beyond belief. Our baby is definitely not in need of one single thing. Oh my goodness, incredible. I have spent everyday since the shower sifting through the tons of baby gear, washing baby items, and organizing the baby room. It is full! There is literally not an inch for one more thing! My bag is packed for the hospital trip and all is ready for Baby Wicker. My due date is in three weeks and tomorrow will be my last day on Procardia. I have stayed on them a bit longer because I have been a crazy cleaning, organizing, errand running nesting crazy woman! Oh my gosh, you have no idea! But I'm almost done, so I can then just wait on the baba!

Cant wait!!! The day is almost here!

These desserts were to-die-for awesome! Look at the pea in the pod!

Me and the hubs!

Shower favors. Super cute glass bottles with jelly "beans" inside with bottle nipples affixed to the top of the bottle.  Great idea!

Getting ready to open gifts!

 As we opened gifts they were moved to this table. Our friends and family were so generous!

Telling all of our guests how thankful we are they came out to celebrate our sweet baby with us.




Granny Sherri, these two posts from today are for you. We're alive and well. All is okay with us, I've just been suuuper busy since the shower and haven't blogged. :)