A Little Apprehension

For the past week I have been having fleeting thoughts about how my body will change during pregnancy and how I'm a little scared of those changes. For the most part, as I have often blogged about, I'm super excited about having my body change. I'm excited to have my shirts fit a little tighter every week and to see my baby bump become more noticeable by the week.

However, this past week, I guess because my bump has been getting more attention from others, I've been feeling a little scared that the body I knew when I began my IVF cycle will be no more---ever. I will never have that exact body, skin firmness, or figure as I did just a few months ago. If I'm lucky, I'll go back to looking pretty similar, but undoubtedly, there will be at least subtle changes that will become the new me.

Saying this baby is more than wanted is an understatement, so I think what I'm feeling is just a "woman thing"--at least for some. Yes, I am vain, I admit that openly, so the looming unknown about what will become of my body does scare me a bit. I even had a horrible nightmare where I dreamed that I awoke one morning to find my entire abdomen and even back covered, and I mean covered, in bright red stretch marks. It was horrific. So glad that was a dream.

I know, I know, for the most part the likelihood of getting stretch marks is based upon genetics and not gaining weight too rapidly, however, if this wasn't a concern for a lot of women then you wouldn't be able to choose from literally hundreds of oils and creams promising to limit the number of stretch marks you will find yourself with after pregnancy. I am using JoJoba Oil every night, but only because I already had a bottle, so why not use it right. I don't know that I believe things like this really work. So I'll just do my best to make sure my skin is moisturized, I stay well hydrated, and I don't gain weight too rapidly, but I think this is pretty much all one can do. So no need to stress over it. It is what it is. Hopefully my subconscious figures this out soon so I can stop with the weird stretch mark dreams. :)