Revelations

So two things were revealed to me today.

1. I need to do a better job of actively lifting my husband up publicly

I believe this to be so so important. I have always known this, as for husbands, there is nothing like having their ego stroked by their wife ( whom they want to impress) in front of others. This is like a double-whammy on the ego building of a man when it is done in front of others. I KNOW how important it is for a wife to do this for her husband, but I don't think I do a great job at this, and I want to do better. The bottom line, Kevin is my husband and I need to do things to honor him and that fill his cup up.

and

2. I need to stop sharing so much personal stuff with my husband.

Kevin and I share A LOT with one another, and I mean  A LOT. I have friends who think it's insane how much Kevin and I share with one another. It wasn't like we sat down and decided that we were going to be one of "those" couples who freely discussed everything personal in nature. It just evolved. I do kind of fault myself, as I'm really open with this type of stuff, and just started divulging from an early point in our relationship and Kevin never objected. He went with it. So from there is just became our standard.

Secondly, I think in the last year and a half that we have been working with fertility doctors Kevin has gained a lot more exposure. The doctors we worked with took every opportunity to engage the husbands. Kevin was given the privilege of seeing me in compromised positions many, many times at the invitation of my doctor. He has seen things most men would only see in their nightmares. My poor hubby. But his facial expressions as he was viewing these lovely things was always PRICELESS!   But he never complained afterwards or seemed grossed out. He always just went with it.

Regardless of how we got to this point in our relationship I think I need to watch what I expose him to, show him, or say to him because my husband doesn't have a filter. This means, that to my husband, he has just learned regular ol' new information, not exceptionally gross or inappropriate information. Then you have to add into the equation that my hubby doesn't have a filter in his brain. This means that he forms a thought and says it without much forethought a good portion of the time. So on many occasions the end result of all of these factors has been while out hanging out with a group, my husband's idea of making small talk is telling people about my ovulation schedule. He doesn't at all clue in that people are thinking, " Holy Cow! What is wrong with this guy!" And, of course, I do. This makes me feel bad for him! I don't want him to unknowingly embarrass himself on my account.

I find this very endearing on one level, but on another, I feel I have slighted my husband and have harmed him by sharing so much info with him. I mean, don't get me wrong, he shares equally with me, but I have a filter, well, kinda, and know that my friends husbands don't want to know about my hubby's miraculous poop that day.

So in effort to limit the number of times my husband and I are looked at as freaks in public as we share waaay too much about our fertility journey with others, I think I will give it a valiant effort not to share so much with the hubby and set a new trend.  Before we the leave the house to go visit with anyone, I have started saying to Kev, " Okay, so we're not bringing up anything about getting pregnant, being pregnant, or staying pregnant."

In my defense, the hubs is my very best friend. I want to share everything with him. And I think he likes being very included. I think it makes us both feel some weird, warped sense of togetherness. I don't know, maybe more counseling is needed.  Every now and then he will draw the line on looking at something or doing something , which I respect, but that is very rarely. Nonetheless, I don't want to strip him of any of his manly-ness by engulfing him too much into the world of "me" or "women", so I'll try to lay off sharing quite as much with the hubs.  Sigh....