Food for Thought for Fellow Infertiles

I am well aware that using the euphemism " infertile" to describe myself and others who are or have had difficulty achieving pregnancy is jaded, not PC at all, and grossly obtuse. However, I almost kinda look at this label as an ironic joke. So no judgements, please.

As a woman who has literally WORKED to achieve pregnancy, and one who has had to look at her husband's mournful and and utterly heartbroken face as we starred at yet another pregnancy test with only one line, and as someone who has had to wrestle with the overwhelming feeling I was letting my husband down by not being able to give him chidren, as someone who has cried more tears than I ever thought I had in me, and as someone who has prayed AND  yelled at God more than I ever thought humanely possible, as someone who was forced to abort her very first precious, heart-altering pregnancy, and as someone who has had expecations and the deepest desires ripped from her possession, I promise to never ever undermind the feelings of my fellow "infertiles".

 I promise not to talk about my pregnancy flamboyantly in front of you, I promise not to post pictures of my first home pregnancy test or baby bump pictures on my Facebook page, I promise not to talk about what kind of carseat we're going to buy with you,  I promise I won't get mad if you don't come to my baby shower or even distance yourself from me, I promise to always to remember your journey and to be respectful of your hurts and disappointments through your journey to become a mom. I promise I will always try to be as mindful as possible of your specific needs and try to be the best friend that I can be. I promise to never forget my own journey and the angst that was my daily existence for so long.

Every couple's journey with infertility looks drastically different with regard to procedures, medications, failures and successes, but what we all share is a deep desire to be called Mom and Dad . This invariably takes us through valleys of deep sorrow and offers a traverse to new perspectives and a greater understanding of ourselves and our relationship with God. This is something that we will always have in common: a unique unspoken bond that will bring us all together and allow us to have a keen understanding of one another. It is for this reason that I promise to always safeguard your feelings and be mindful of where you are in your journey. I have been so blessed to have "senior" infertile friends lift me up in some of my darkest and saddest moments in my infertility journey and it is one of my deepest hopes that when I'm on higher ground I can be the same to you.