Anytime someone goes through IVF they typically have to do some thinking about some serious topics. For example, how many embryos are you comfortable with transfering; would you consider selective reduction should you become pregnant with more babies than you wanted; would you opt to freeze any extra embryos you have left from your cycle to use at a later date; are you comfortable with your embryos being discarded by the lab; how do you feel about allowing another couple to adopt your frozen embryos? There is a ton to think about and consider. There is no right or wrong answer to any of the above questions, only answers that best match you and your spouse. Nonetheless, these are some heavy topics to delve through with the other half.
Kevin and I have spoken about all of these questions and made agreements. For us, we would feel comfortable transfering no more than two embryos, assuming they are good quality. I think I MAY be able to handle the idea of triplets, but my concern is my health and the health and development of the babies. We would never consider selective reduction just because 'we really want two babies at once and not three'. We will definitely freeze any extra embryos for us to use at a later date. Are you kidding me! Of course we will! I have been praying for frozen embies! I am not at all comfortable with the lab 'discarding' of any of our embryos, regardless of quality and viability. The miracle of life has began within the embryos and they are all my babies. The lab stresses to you that the ' embryos will be discarded in accordance with all proper state and federal regulations...blah blah blah'....which I would be willing to bet is nothing more than tossing them out in a biohazard waste bag. That is just not something that we are okay with. Personal choice, of course. And if we could find another couple through an agency that we felt comfortable with, we would definitely adopt out our embryos to another couple. I know the sincere, heartbreaking pain of yearning to be a Mom---and if I have viable life that I no longer need for my own use, why in the heck would I NOT offer a chance to another couple to become parents.
Going back to us believing that life begins at conception, we have one embryos that is dividing well, but is subjectively graded at a C--which is not very good. I believe there is less than a 5% chance that this embryo would implant in the uterus and result in a live birth. Nonetheless, it's still our baby. A baby that I so so love and I am honored to his or her Momma. Unless this embryo fizzles out before my transfer tomorrow, then I will be asking our RE to transfter (1) A embryo, (1) B embryo and also the C embryo. It is not an option to freeze the C embryo, as they only freeze great quality embryos: A's and B's. So the scenarios: (1) it could die out on its own; (2) we could elect for the lab to 'discard' him/her; or (3) we can ask that it be transfered into my uterus so that it can die naturally within its Momma. So I will be asking for it be transfered. I'm a little worried about my RE giving me fits about doing so, as he is very cautious about higher order multiples. However, I'm sure he is well aware of the various religious, moral, and ethical concerns that each individual couple brings to the table, and he has to try to accomodate those types of requests.
We won't know the final outcome of our embryos until tomorrow when we arrive for my transfer. So it could be that many have arrested and stopped developing and we will then have to reassess our transfer plan. So God only knows until then. Nonetheless, I have to say I truly LOVE each and every one of our sweet embryos. I was thinking about them...as I have been constantly for the last 5 days...while I was putting on my eye makeup today--bad idea. I realized that I really do love them. They are our babies. AND, we have worked soo hard to give them all life. They are true miracles, so special, and I feel honored that I will have some of them inside me tomorrow. What a true honor, really, It just blows my mind.
On another sweet note, I believed I mentioned all of the crazy things I am doing to try and make my body more hospitable. ( Everytime I don't get my way I've been telling Kevin, " MY BODY'S A VESSEL, DANG IT!") One of those things is keeping my feet warm at all times, which according to my acupuncturist is supposed to keep the body warm, thus increase bloodflow to the uterus. So everynight before bed I also have been soaking my feet in hot water. I just full up the tub a bit and sit on the edge and pray or think. Well, without a word, Kevin has been joining me. He doesn't make a big production, he tries to be so cavalier about the whole thing. So last night we were sitting on the bathtub edge together with our four dogs starring at us wondering what in the heck we were doing, and just talked and joked. As we were drying off he told me that he thought it would be neat to do all the baby things I'm doing to try to make my body and uterus a cozy place... together. It was one of those precious moments. I am truly thankful.
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