Yesterday, July 12, 2011, was our embryo transfer. Finally! We're one step closer to being parents. Nine more days to go and we will be getting our long awaited pregnancy test results. I'm already nervous.
The only frame of reference I had for the embryo transfer was an IUI and the mock transfer. I assumed it would be pretty much the same as these two, and it was. Just add in a lot more formality, paperwork signing, a top secret patient room, scary "secret" doors, masked people, and about an extra hour and a half and you have the embryo transfer.
So here goes: I actually slept really well the night before, although I was up and ready to go by 7am and couldn't get back to sleep: the transfer was at 2pm. I woke up energized and sooo excited about meeting two of our babies for the first time! Our sweet, precious babies were about to be introduced to their Momma for the very first time. I really felt like it was a homecoming. I was truly going to be a'vessel' now, per Kevin, and my body would be about to take the place of the petri dishes that have kept them alive until we could meet. I find this incredibly spectacular.
Kevin took the day off from work and after we both got up for the day we piddled around for a couple of hours and before heading out. I got all the house cleaning I wanted done complete, as I did not want to have anything left to cloud my head once I got home and had those sweet bambinos to incubate. We left the house a little early, as I had some errands to do. First stop: return a shirt that I recently purchased; second stop: hit up the grocery store and buy a ton of lemons for all the water I drink everyday. I'm wanting to make my blood more alkaline and lemons happen to be a cheap fix; stop three: acupuncture right before the transfer. Kevin has been with me before when I've gotten acupuncture, but this time he videoed the session as part of our 'Baby Diary'. The session was really relaxing and I was really gettin' into the zone. As I'm drifting off to la la land I am startled by Kevin playing a video game on my phone, Angry Birds, as he sat in the corner of the room. Oh dear husband.....In the end, the session was a success. We left and headed to our RE's office for the long awaited embryo transfer!
We were called back almost immediately and taken to the side of the clinc that I had only been to one other time, and that was for my egg retrieval. I was taken to a cozy room, with a dim light and a nice padded chair for me to lay back on. A wrist bracelet was placed on my arm, I was told to undress, wrap myself in a lovely, sticky drape, and also put my hair in a surgical hair cap. We were also instructed to fill out our "freezing" paperwork. Essentially we had to make all of our wishes known with regard to our frozen embryos. .....if we had any embryos, that is. At this point we really didn't know. Basically you have to designate what you would like done with the embryos should you and your husband have an untimely death, who will retain ownership of them in the event of a divorce. ...and much more. We're talking some heavy stuff here, for sure. So we fill all of this out and wait for the embryologist to come in and give us a final update.
So Luna, our embryologist, comes in carrying a picture of the two embryos she has just chosen for us to have transferred. I am overwhelmed by the picture. It is just soo incredible to see your future babies in this form. The miracle of life is so amazing! My head is rushing with tons of questions! I feel like I can't get it all out fast enough. Even after all this time facing an "infertile" life I'm totally unprepared for this moment! She goes on to describe all of the unique features of our two embryos and also tell us that out of the original 12 that fertilized that one stopped developing recently, so that leaves 9 that they are closely watching for freezability.
I do have to say I was unprepared to hear her say that the two she had chosen for transfer were graded at a 4BA and a 4BC. What?? Two days ago I was told we had two solid A's, 9 B's, and 1 C. I was totally geared up for transferring two A's today, for sure. So I asked her where our A's and our C are? She gives me this look like she has no idea what I'm talking about and this makes me feel uneasy. Basically she tells me that there are four embryologists and they all work the cases. Therefore, the embryologist that graded them on day 3 and told me we had 2 A's and 1 C may have graded them differently than herself, as embryo grading is subjective. This is not what I want to hear in this moment. I have to admit I was feeling a little bummed and let down. Especially after she points out some of the flaws in the embryos. HHmm...no bueno. After she has done her part she exits and tells us to wait for Dr. Le so we can begin.
Dr. Le comes in as happy and positive as ever and takes a look the pictures of the embryos we were left with and seems really delighted with what he sees. But he is always so overly positive, so I never know if I can trust his positivity. He tells us that he will be shocked if we don't get pregnant. He then goes on to say that he is giving us a 60-70% chance of getting pregnant ( I wish I would have clarified if this was his live birth stat! I'm not just wanting to be a chemical pregnancy or miscarriage stat!) He also says that his current twin percentage is at 40%. I'm thinkin, this would be a great bang for the buck! hahaha
Kevin is also videoing the embryo transfer minus any non family friendly shots. He stays up by my head the entire time. I was surprised to see that Dr. Le does not feel that using a sonogram during the transfer offers better results. So it was very similar to an IUI in this regard. Hmm..I sure hope he knows what he's doing. Dr. Le has me in position, has prepped the area, and then notifies the embryologist that he is ready for the embryos. A side door opens to the lab area, which is freeeeezing, and two fully geared up, masked, embryologists dressed in white from head to toe enter the room. One hands him the sample and the other is a witness. I'm feeling really good that they seem to not want to take any chances of embryos getting mixed up and transferred into the wrong woman.
Dr. Le was super gentle, I didn't feel a thing, and before I knew it, the moment that I had waited seven long weeks for had passed in a second. Dr. Le said his goodbyes and I had to stay laying flat with my legs brought close to my chest for 30 minutes. Afterwards I was taken by wheelchair by my nurse to the car where I had to lay in the back seat. So it was done!
I was told to stay laying flat the rest of the evening until morning. I did follow those directions for the most part other than needing to get up for the obvious. Kevin waited on me hand and foot and did everything that needed to be done that night. He was also found on his hands and knees sitting on the floor beside me as I was lying on the couch talking to and kissing my belly and sweetly encouraging our sweet babies to "stick". It was so so amazing to hear his encouragement and to hear his heart for our babies. This was another moment that I never want to forget.
This day was sooooo overwhelming and sooo beautiful! I don't know that I can even put it into words how "big" this day was. But I guess this also is telling of how much we have invested in this day. This means a victory is going to be so so sweet, but a defeat is going to be so so brutal.
Lord knows our hearts. Believe me, I have poured it out to him over and over and over. I envision that God would love just one day where I stop talking and give him a break! Hahaha Please, please, please, Lord let your timing and our hearts' desires meet at this moment. This was Kevin's prayer for us yesterday during the transfer. I am so in love with our babies, regardless of the outcome. They are still my babies.
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