The Long Road Home: 2012: What a Wonderful Year

As we move closer to celebrating P's first birthday and I pin and pin my little heart out on Pinterest in an effort to throw the best 1st bday bash ever, I can't help but fall prey to waves of nostalgia. What an amazing and ever changing year 2012 has been, but it has been even more sweet. I am reminded daily of what it took to bring Preston's sweet life into the world, and all the sacrifice this mamma...( and daddy) had to endure. I remember thinking often as I was sliding my feet into yet another set up stirrups to be poked and prodded...and thinking again as I counted specks on the ceiling as I laid on bed rest...is this REALLY going to be worth it??! I know in theory, on paper, according to what I know I should believe, that it will all be worth it, but, in reality, I wondered, time and time again, will all of the sacrifice and hard work really be worth it. YES! YES! YES!!!! I shout it from the rooftops any chance I get! It is and was TOTALLY, ABSOLUTELY, WITHOUT A DOUBT WORTH IT! I would do it all again over and over and over again if it meant having the sweet baby that I enjoy every day.

The most amazing part of the equation: that it's so blatantly obvious that I could not have done any of it on my own. I serve an amazing God who sustained me. He poured power and life into me and gave me immense strength and perseverance. He opened doorways to little rooms inside of my heart that I never knew existed. God gifted me not only through Preston, but through what He revealed to me through my journey. Seeing as things are still pretty fresh, I often describe the entire journey to bring Preston into this world to Kevin as " traumatic". And I mean that it was traumatic for the spirit and soul; inducing profound life change. I'm sure as time passes, the word traumatic will fade into a less coarse word, but for now it's still traumatic. Don't the best things always come through hard work though.

I began 2012 on bed rest wondering if I would soon be taking care of a preemie and I struggled against sadness. There was a lot of learning, changing, adapting, exhaustion, and you can throw in any adjectives you'd like here, that took place between then and now. But 2012 ended with Kevin and I watching our little Santa's Helper crawl across the living room floor while simultaneously eating tissue paper. Total redemption.

We are incredibly thankful. Mr. Preston is quite the big guy these days. He is working on teeth number 5 and 6!!! Holy cow, this makes me so sad, as this means he's losing his gummy baby smile. :( And he's standing all by himself!...will we have a walker at his first birthday party??! And, since it's my blog, I'm going to be boastful and tell ya, we have a little smartie, I tell ya! LOL Take it for whatever it's worth, right, true words from a mamma..and a mamma with no frame of reference, to boot. :0 But he just seems to "get" things. How he plays with toys, how he studies things and puts things together, he def has a clue. And it certainly doesn't hurt this mamma ego when you pick your baby up from being baby sat and the sitter says, " HE IS SMART!"

He is eating all things super well. He is sleeping well, although still waking to nurse once at night (but this is more out of habit, I think), he is def a mamma's boy, but doesn't seem bothered by being left with someone. Preston has only been babysat twice, but the latest time was yesterday, and he did wonderfully. He didn't cry when we left, he played well with my friend's baby, ate excellent for the sitter, and even took a nap while there! The perpetual poor sleeper??! ( GASP!) And when we returned, I barely got a reaction from him as he sat playing with a ton of new toys. Excellent! Hoping this means he's a pretty well adjusted baby.

It has been quite the year, one that's been pretty tough in the moment, but I know I'll look back at this time with the utmost fondness. The first year as parents, I know, is full of change and learning for every set of parents. So we look forward to 2013 with eagerness, to have the honor of seeing Mr. P grow and... I know I must be crazy, but the thought of more babies dance in my head. As much as I would love to know we're pregnant with baby #2 soon, I'm not going to rush weaning Preston in order to have that chance. Hopefully by this summer we will be back on the baby train. Can't wait to go back for my frostie babies. I know it's an odd comprehension for most, but I think of them as my real, real babies and I get sad knowing I won't be able to rock them all to sleep one day. But it's my sincere hope that if I can't rock them to sleep, that some other Mamma will be. We've already been praying over our next steps and for God to bless our path. 2013 is going to be amazing!!

Here is our man this week: Almost 9.5 months!